What is NLP? Definition #5

NLP is… An attitude of curiosity and respect for ourselves and for each other – for what we have been and who we are becoming.

Human lives are creative wholes. To be understood properly and changed respectfully, our lives need to be appreciated holistically. We need to understand and appreciate that no part of our life experience really exists separate from the wholeness of our life. We hold each person’s life and the full human experience with respect and appreciation.

By appreciating the present state we can help the person that is suffering to complete the experience.  Appreciation of the present state helps return an individual to a place of resourceful learning – to a place of curiosity and amazement. Too much understanding blocks full appreciation and allowing a person to move forward. Think about this way, when you are grilled for another person’s understanding does it help you move through the issue you were originally discussing with them?

Bringing your attention to fully appreciate and be aware of another includes consenting to or respecting the experience without seeking to add or subtract energy or attention or value.  Being fully appreciating and attentive with someone is always about their good not yours. Reality continues until it is fully experienced. Until we can approach ourselves and others with full appreciation and attention, we will invariably exclude part of ourselves, others and reality.

Unless we fully accept it and allow the appreciation, we will not be able to change our experience and we will continue to experience it. The same goes with the people around us. We can’t help others change unless we are fully appreciating without excluding anything either in them or ourselves. Fully accepting and appreciating another is like saying ‘OK’ to it is, how it is without using approval and providing your blessings. What happens is that the emptiness and nothingness in us cannot threaten each other. This creates safety and rapport and has a potential effect that could result in change.

When we are in pain we want others to disapprove of our pain. But, if we disapprove of our pain, we are withholding approval of our experience resulting us to continuously hold our pain. It is as if we held our pain long enough, it would stop. Again, reality continues until it is fully experienced.

Usually we are furious at our pain. We are looking for the reason or cause of our pain in the past to make it go away. We try to be in pain now so it won’t have happened in the past or we will try to have it in the future so the past is different. And it is almost impossible to fully appreciate and be aware of our experience when we are in pain. This is where the practice of NLP comes in with its techniques and tools. NLP teaches an attitude of curiosity and respect for ourselves and for each other – for what we have been and who we are becoming. And that allows others and ourselves to safely experience our experiences fully so that we may complete them and move forward.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through www.TherapeuticNLP.com