Presupposition#12: Every behavior is useful in some context

To obtain healing, growth and success we don’t have to get rid of our so-called “bad” behaviours. Rather, acquiring more behavioral choices that provide more options for more useful responses in all areas of our lives.

If a behavior does not work, it is useful to re-contextualize it than to fight against it, resist it, or make it wrong.

As children we learned one way of doing everything. The supposed “right” way to survive. As we grow the information we have may not make sense for the situations we experience. This may be due to the fact that when we were taught the information we were taught we were children and didn’t have the experience to what we were learning. The information we learned became patterns in our lives and were useful until they weren’t. Which is when they become emotionally painful. That’s when we need to update our system. The most effective tool in updating and adding to this patterning is NLP.

The best way to have your brain choose a new option is to make the new option more positive than the intended positive out come currently available to your brain. But in order to offer a choice, some versions of NLP say to eliminate those painful memories entirely because they don’t hold useful information. This is how Therapeutic NLP is different from traditional or formulaic NLP. I believe all information we have is useful and needed. If I don’t include it, acknowledge it, and make it ok, you as my client can’t make any changes in your system because I can’t be in full rapport with you.

And, I know that if I offer the brain a better option, rather than subtract, it will use that option more often and over time the painful connections will fall away. 

If you look at the neural connections of a child’s brain through development, you’ll see an increase, then a decrease of connections over time. This is what happens in learning. Your brain creates many connections in learning something new. But as those skills become embedded and practiced the unneeded extra connections used in learning the skill fall away. This way your brain still knows how to crawl. You just don’t need all the information you needed to learn how to crawl. This is the efficiency of your brain’s processing and learning.

Tracy Joy, Founder of NLP VancouverTracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through