When you are in sales, you are playing the numbers game. Everyone you meet could be a potential customer or know a potential customer. Based on your speech patterns, the more someone feels comfortable with you the more someone will want to tell others about you and your conversations or will want to buy from you.
To do that, you want to mirror them as much as much as possible. If you are mirroring someone, you want to mirror their gestures back to them, their body posture, their breathing and the exact words they use (i.e.: the word “success” is not the same as the word “successful”.). One of the things you can do is listen for in their words and actions in their preferred sense.
Their preferred sense shows up in the predicates they use… so words like: see, view, and look are visual predicates. Words like: tactile, texture, emote, are feeling predicates and words like: sound, music, hear, advise, are auditory predicates…etc…
In your conversations with others they move their eyes as well as their face to process information. Unless they have a brain injury, the person is lying, or they were taught to never lose eye contact with a person while talking, a person that is primarily visual will look up, above the horizon maybe to the right or to the left many times through your conversation… but mostly their eye positioning when accessing information while speaking to you will look up towards the ceiling. When someone is looking at you over their glasses they are looking at the visual spectrum and trying to avoid receiving feelings from you.
If a person is primarily auditory, they will look side to side. I have friend who turns his whole head from side to side just to maintain eye contact with the person he’s talking to. An auditory person mainly looks shifty eyed. Their gaze when accessing information is along the horizon or their ear line and a little bit lower (like 15% grade)
A feeling dominant person will mostly gaze down well below the horizon or where their ears are. Their posture will follow their eyes. They could also look directly at you and shake their knee or fidget with their hands… that’s also a feeling person processing a feeling.
If a person is smell oriented you will see their nose scrunch and twist as they process information.
If a person is taste oriented you will see their mouth chew.
These are in addition to anything they might say.
The big issue is one orientation doesn’t hear the other orientation. You need to speak to them in their preferred sense (using predicates from their preferred sense or with no specific sense indicated by your predicates.) for your information to make sense to their brain… otherwise use predicates that don’t promote a preference… example: tell me about your “experience” rather than tell me what you “see“…
Any other questions related to this topic?
Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through www.TherapeuticNLP.com