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Good Stress Or Bad Stress – It All Causes Problems!

Exam Stressed David

Exam Stressed David

Your body and mind do not realize there is a difference between good and bad stress! 

Stress is defined as the body’s non-specific response to any demand or stressor. Stress gets the nervous system to assess the information coming in, recognize a safe or not safe situation, and raise an alarm if needed. If not safe, the nervous system instructs the body to respond through fight-flight-freeze. 

Everyone has their own person stress threshold and when the threshold is met then problems start. Normally we can all live with a baseline of stress. But when we go beyond those levels we are not able to tolerate the increased stress no matter how fun or pleasurable an activity might be. Often we can’t enjoy the activities that we used enjoy to such as exciting movies, parties, a jog in the park or even sex.

The overload of city noise, computer and TV screens, electronic phones, electrical wires and electronic transmission adds to our levels of stress. Simply unplugging, taking a day off, or taking care of oneself before others always vying for attention can help re-center and refocus us. However, not everyone is so lucky. People with anxiety disorders, chronic stress and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) need a little bit more work. 

The part of the brain that determines what happens in a stressful situation is called the amygdala. This structure signals to the hippocampus which records the event we are experiencing (like the event of reading this blog). The hippocampus allows us to recall a memory (or the context), know approximately how long the event took place and that the event has begun and ended. Our memory of the details in sequence are due to the hippocampus doing it’s job.

When a person has exceeded the their stress threshold (as with people with anxiety disorders, chronic stress, PTSD, and even phobias) the hippocampus can’t mark the end of the stressful event and tell the amygdala to stop the defensive action. Which means the event never ends leaving the body in a permanently hyper-vigilant state of fight-flight-freeze. Or the person can’t be moved out of the crisis. If we could stop this then we can stop the brain from experiencing the trauma and start the recovery process.

When arousal goes past a certain threshold the hippocampus completely stops functioning causing sequencing issues, memory issues, no real beginning to the trauma, no middle, and no real end. The amygdala continues to alarm the body as if the trauma is continuing, even if the danger has far passed. This accounts for loss of pieces of memory, the weird over reactions, seen with any person that is stressed. But because of the memory issues that occur with stress, there are flashbacks, disturbing dreams, and phantom body sensation and symptoms. With people experiencing mild stress they also seem to exhibit these symptoms but in a lesser extent.

With TNLP we can provide the sufferer with coping mechanisms that instantly give them power over their experience. Then we can go back, in a relaxed and clam frame of mind, and complete the memory. Finally, we can provide and amplify the individual’s own resources to help encourage the healing process. All of this in a single session resulting in huge, drug-free relief by the end of the session. When the stress is resolved like this, normal activities will feel again normal and in someone with chronic stress, this is a life saver.

Tracy Joy, NLP, RPCc

Tracy Joy, NLP, RPCc

Tracy Joy, MBA, MaNLP, RPCc is a Canadian NLP and human change expert and someone who believes everyone should feel comfortable in their skin. She’s also the girl who brings the cool Jedi mind trick party games.  ; ) She wants to know how much longer you plan on suffering? Contact Tracy at for a session or for classes starting September 14th. 


Sleep:How to Set the Alarm without setting the Alarm.

Have you ever had a night where you woke up several times only to find that your clock hasn’t gone off, yet!??! Then in the morning you feel like death warmed up and spend your day fighting off your yawns? Typically this happens when we’re supposed to feel rested and ready for our big day. It doesn’t matter how early we try to get to sleep early and have a good sleep, we simply don’t.

The problem is the more you think about the day to come the more amped up we get and the less calm and relaxed – which is something we need for sleep. There’s more to this sleep thing like making sure we have the right amino acids (building blocks for our body) floating around in our system…. but I’ll cover that in a later article.

One of the easiest methods 

of falling asleep is implanting the idea that it is easy to go to sleep, when you want, when your head hits the pillow. 

So try this out and even be willing to not set your alarm (test it on one of your days off). Without my voice here you will have improvise… think low pitch voice, slow, stead pace and do a couple of cycles now and see how it goes. Make sure you know what time you need to get up tomorrow so you can visualize that along with this.

See a future version of yourself falling asleep easily tonight and the next night and the night after that. Feel the heaviness surround your body at just the right time. Notice how fluffy your pillow is and how warm and comfortable the your blanket is wrapped around you and touching your skin. And just as you notice your comfort you drift off to sleep.

Feel the lightness of the morning let your brain wake you at the exact right time. See the time you need to wake up in your mind on your alarm clock. Hear the alarm go off 5 minutes after you awake as you are just enjoying the last few moments of the dream you had. Experience yourself feeling rested, awake and satisfied. Take a deep breath in as you breath the excitement of the day knowing you will be able to fall peacefully asleep when you next visit your pillow. Take another deep breath as it fills you and gives you energy to take on your day powerfully.

Let me know how it works for you.

TracyWeb51cutTracy Joy is a Canadian NLP and human change expert and behavioural profiler. She believes everyone should feel comfortable in their skin. And, is the girl who brings the cool Jedi mind trick party games. ; ) So how much longer do you plan on waiting to finally be the person you want to be? Be the Change. Contact Tracy at for a session or maybe to learn NLP. 

Presupposition#12: Every behavior is useful in some context

To obtain healing, growth and success we don’t have to get rid of our so-called “bad” behaviours. Rather, acquiring more behavioral choices that provide more options for more useful responses in all areas of our lives.

If a behavior does not work, it is useful to re-contextualize it than to fight against it, resist it, or make it wrong.

As children we learned one way of doing everything. The supposed “right” way to survive. As we grow the information we have may not make sense for the situations we experience. This may be due to the fact that when we were taught the information we were taught we were children and didn’t have the experience to what we were learning. The information we learned became patterns in our lives and were useful until they weren’t. Which is when they become emotionally painful. That’s when we need to update our system. The most effective tool in updating and adding to this patterning is NLP.

The best way to have your brain choose a new option is to make the new option more positive than the intended positive out come currently available to your brain. But in order to offer a choice, some versions of NLP say to eliminate those painful memories entirely because they don’t hold useful information. This is how Therapeutic NLP is different from traditional or formulaic NLP. I believe all information we have is useful and needed. If I don’t include it, acknowledge it, and make it ok, you as my client can’t make any changes in your system because I can’t be in full rapport with you.

And, I know that if I offer the brain a better option, rather than subtract, it will use that option more often and over time the painful connections will fall away. 

If you look at the neural connections of a child’s brain through development, you’ll see an increase, then a decrease of connections over time. This is what happens in learning. Your brain creates many connections in learning something new. But as those skills become embedded and practiced the unneeded extra connections used in learning the skill fall away. This way your brain still knows how to crawl. You just don’t need all the information you needed to learn how to crawl. This is the efficiency of your brain’s processing and learning.

Tracy Joy, Founder of NLP VancouverTracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition#11: Behavior is the highest quality information available

When listening to what a person says, pay attention to their behavior as well. Behavior tells the true story. Have you ever heard the sentiment: “action speaks louder than words?”

I’ve have had many people come to me when they are having issues in their relationships. Many times (more than I can count) I have to convince them that I can’t change the person they are talking about… but I can help them change what’s not working specifically for them… and who knows, that might change the way the other person in their relationship is acting.

I remember this story I heard once from a husband. He would go around his house shutting off lights. Every time he would walk into a room he would get more and more incensed about how much money was being wasted on electricity, and then shut the light.

His wife would walk into a room and think, how gloomy is this room, open the light and then walk out of the room. This went on for many years until, the husband got curious about the actions of the wife and asked, what does the light in the room mean to the wife. She told him that a room with light was happy, so she liked to walk into happy rooms.

So he had a choice to make, does he want his wife to be happy or does he want to save on electricity? Now he has choice, but the behavior provided the highest quality of information… it’s up to you to find out what the behavior means. Most likely it is quite important.

Tracy Joy founder of NLP VancouverTracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition #10: Communication is redundant.

You cannot not communicate. We are always communicating, at least nonverbally, and words are often the least important part (Albert Mehrabian said about 7% of the communication). A sign, a smile, and a look are all communications (About 55% according to Mehrabrian). Even though our thoughts are communications with ourselves, and they are revealed to others through our eyes, voice tones(38%), postures, and body movements.

The experience of being human requires us to make meaning out of everything. Communication is always happening. It is never not happening. All words, all behavior, communicate something. You cannot stop communicating.

Understanding another’s communication is the basis for everything in our world occurring or not. It is the reason why things work or not, why people are inspired or not. Your words are powerful beyond measure – not because of the meaning you associate with those words, but the meaning that others around you, listening to your words associate with those words. You communication has the power to build people up and tear people down.

My mother used to say the words “we’ll see.” She used this sentiment most commonly with things she didn’t believe were going to take place. Although the two little words mean nothing and have no expressly negative or positive connotation to them alone, I can hear the intonation quite distinctly a clearly from her.  Even when I read these words to myself they are about casting doubt and non-belief.

When I as graduating from anything, high school or university, I would be standing in my cap and gown before the service and she would ask if I was going to get something. I would reply “yes” as if the wind was knocked out of me for her thinking I would create such an elaborate rouse. She would then reply in her doubting voice “Well, I guess we’ll see.”

It took me four graduations to get it right. I realized the work I did was for me, not her. And, the graduation was about me and my accomplishments, not her, and her doubt. And, on my fourth graduation day for my Master’s degree, I didn’t invite her.

Now, if she was responsible for the results of her communication then she probably wouldn’t have been hurt by this action. But she wasn’t. And that’s how we live our lives – expecting others to be responsible for how their communication lands but not being responsible ourselves for how our communication lands on others. This presupposition alone, in my opinion would build up so many people and improve so many relationships.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition#9: Mind and body are part of the same system and they affect each other

The mind and body are not separate entities. They function as an interactive system and influence each other to such an extent that there really is no separation. Our thoughts instantly affect our muscle tension, breathing, feelings, and more, and these in turn affect our thoughts. When we learn to change either one, we have learned to change the other.

Even when you interact with another person, you affect their experience-at the moment as well as through time via their stored internal representations. It is very important in the practice of NLP to learn to recognize and observe others as well as yourself. The greater the ability a person has to observe another, the easier they have the ability influence and to create change in that person.

Perceptions, emotions, thoughts, and outward behavior occur simultaneously through time. Each influences the response of all the other elements. None is separate nor without impact on the other elements. 

Everything influences everything, and does so all the time.

Many people are incongruent with their messaging. They saying one thing and their body says another and maybe have third intention. If you miss something consciously you have missed receiving the information because of the way our brains have been taught to delete information. If you delete information the entire message could be misunderstood.

In fact if you are on the phone your brain makes up the missing body language based on your past experience. If you are reading only, you miss both the body language and the tonal information and your brain makes up the difference from your past experience. If you get in the habit of texting and emailing instead of communicating with others face-to-face, you can loose your unconscious ability to sense danger properly… which means your fight-flight-freeze response will be continuously going off with false positives or everyone will start feeling unsafe.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition #8:The outcome is the true intention (for the part generating the outcome)

At some level, we are always in control and doing exactly what we want. Much of our true motivation is out of consciousness and is based on beliefs that are out of our consciousness (we are not conscious we are making our decisions based on hidden beliefs). Self-actualization comes to the degree that we are able to take responsibility for all of our experience.

Have you ever blamed someone else for your issues? Like a loved one… have you ever got mad at someone for something and then felt worse? Many times this is because we are in control of doing exactly what we want. And, although it is scary and humbling to take on our own issues, it causes us to grow in some wonderful magical ways.

The exercise of taking on more and more responsibility for our actions allows others to be off the hook or free of being encumbered by unknown expectation. Sometimes our younger more vulnerable parts of ourselves act out. For those parts of the action we took was the intention of those younger versions of us even if our elder parts of ourselves know those behaviors are unwarranted and inappropriate. NLP helps us seek those younger versions of ourselves to allow them to heal and effectively grow them up.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition#7:The meaning of our communication is the response that we get

In any interaction there is what you intend to get across and the response your communication actually creates. The meaning of your communication is not about what you intend, but what is received and understood by the receiver. Others receive what we say and do through their mental map of the world. When we communicate anything, and particularly when someone hears something different from what we meant to communicate, we have an opportunity to notice if what we said was received as we intended it to be received. That way we can adjust our delivery.

Communication is about creating an experience in, and getting a response from, the listener. This presupposition gives us both the responsibility and opportunity to vary our communications until we get the response we want.

When I was doing my Master’s thesis I had been assigned a thesis advisor that didn’t communicate in my language. We were both speaking English but at the time, it seemed that no matter what I did to follow his instructions, I failed.

I would request that we have a conversation on the phone so I could ask him questions about what he was saying. And, he would respond by sending me an email saying that what he was communicating was completely understandable by email and that a phone call wouldn’t make anything more clear so it was a waste of his time – even though his job was to be my liaison to the university for getting through the master’s thesis process.

This issue went on for months and I was subjected to what felt like, his insults of my efforts. For every page I wrote, he would mark and send back to me. All I could I see when I opened the page was a sea of red. His most common comment to me ways, “This is not a sentence.” Which to me was impossible since I had already been a published author and received A’s in every course for my term papers. The detail of this experience was killing me. Every time I received an email from him it would throw me into fits of rage, helplessness and most of all hurt.

Finally, exasperated, I asked a previous professor of mine to look at something I wrote and included this advisor’s comments. She took one look and said, it looks like you are writing marketing copy and he is asking for academic writing. I had used the wrong language, but the advisor I was working with couldn’t express it in terms I could understand!

From my past professor’s comment it took a about a week to turn around and my thesis was submitted and accepted… just because someone spoke to me using my language preference.

So, ask yourself, where are you frustrated when you communicate with someone in your life?  Where you say “left” and they go right? Next time it happens to you, try something else, some other way of expressing what you are trying to communicate. If they can’t understand the detail, explain the big picture and vice versa. Or if they always disagree, tell them there’s no way it will work so they can figure out how to make it work. As my mentor says – “Be willing to be indefinitely wrong!” If your communication is not working try something else.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition #6: Language is a tertiary representation of experience

This presupposition I go back to time and time again. You know the old adage: A picture is worth a thousand words? Well, an experience is worth 1000’s more. In fact most of the time we can’t get the words to explain the experience to someone.

When we experience something, anything our senses are bombarded with 2 billion bits of information but our conscious mind can only deal with 5-9 pieces of information at a given moment. So, there is so much more information that gets filtered out of our conscious awareness.

When we experience an event, our conscious brain sorts from the information it gets the meaning associated with how our brain reacts to this information… so if we get painful feelings our conscious mind says something like “don’t like that, don’t want that to happen again.” Then it goes back and checks the experience and reinforces the meaning associated with it. This is the experience of the experience – A secondary event.

When we put language to the event, we are not putting language to the primary event, we are putting language to the experience of the experience.

These are levels of modeling and have a direct effect on our experience of the world. These levels of modeling could be depicted as layers, which separate us from the world at large. (picture) The three layers are: 1.) our sensory experience, 2.) our experience of experience and 3.) our language. 

Each level of modeling is meta to the level below it. (Meta means moving up to a higher level or awareness of our awareness.) The higher the level at which the modeling occurs, the greater the distance between the model and the world at large. Language is a useful representation of experience, but it is a representation, not the real thing. Which means language is a model of our internally constructed model of reality. The problem comes in when we assume ours or other’s language is reality.

I remember a time when I was asked to take part in an introductory seminar of an organization that used a modified version of NLP to have people sign up and take their course and eventually become zealots for their company. This example was once part of their introductory seminars:  

They called this process “un-collapsing the vicious circle.” They asked participants to find an area of their life when they had experienced being trapped with their job or family. They then drew a diagram of a circle to the left on the board and labeled it “what happened” instead of the “experience.” Then they drew another circle to the right of the first circle and call it the “concept” or the “story” about what happened – which is really the “experience of the experience”.

And then they would explain, “So what human beings do is have an experience, then make up a story about the experience. They then review the experience and then go back again to their story and then back to the experience, over and over and over again until they aren’t living in the experience or what happened. They are living very far away from the reality as a result of the vicious circle.” Then the spokesperson for this organization would say if you sign up for their seminar you will have the experience of un-collapsing this vicious circle so you can always be present to what happened in your life.

Never in their introduction or any where else in their training did they say, this is an entirely human concept – so everyone experiences this. And that there is no way to get out of this process ever because it is the way your brain processes information – by continuously updating our maps of reality!

But there is a way to change the negative feelings associated with experiencing your experiences. And, it is called NLP. The only thing available from these seminars is the illusion of elation or emotional release from going from and environment where you are sitting practically on top of the people next to you to having space around you. Due to their inability to be specific enough in a seminar setting, this company can only at best make a behavior change. But without creating a change in the corresponding belief that supports the behavior, the new behavior doesn’t last. Usually it lasts only for about a week tops…which is precisely how much time they have to get you enrolled in the next seminar.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition #5: Experience has structure.

All maps/models have a syntax and structural elements. The structural elements are the building blocks of a model. For experience, the structural elements are made up of our words and spoken vocabularies. The syntax is the set of rules or directives that describe how the building blocks can be put together. For us, this is the set of grammar rules that dictate how we fit together words.

The structure of experience consists of sensory impressions – pictures, sounds, feelings, smells, and tastes – some are internally generated and others come from the outside. It is through these sensory impressions that we compare to what is already logged into our memory (our current internal map of reality) and create meaning and subsequently update our internal map of reality.

What was originally logged in that internal map of reality was information or impressions from two months before we were born and our physical brain, sometimes referred to as our critter or reptilian brain started functioning. It was during this time, we gathered our impressions from our mother’s feelings and experiences. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the experience that went along with those feelings to make proper meaning so we made it mean things about ourselves like, we are worthless, helpless, invisible, unlovable, etc…

If our thoughts and memories have a pattern to them, and we know that pattern, we can change them. When we change that pattern or structure, our experience will automatically change no matter what the original experience was like or how long it existed. We can neutralize unpleasant memories and enrich memories that will serve us.

When I was just learning NLP, I was the class demo for our anchoring class. My NLP mentor asked me to think about an experience that was fun and interesting. So I did, and as the feeling loaded up in my mind I looked around at the class and realized they were watching me, and I got self conscious and blushed. Just as I blushed he squeezed my arm. He then asked me who I considered a mentor – which I had none so I replied “the Dali Lama.” Carl had me think about the Dali Lama and then squeezed my other arm. Then he did the unthinkable… He squeeze the first arm and said “ now, when you load up this I want you to load up this too,” and squeeze the second arm. He continued talking to the class while periodically squeezing the first arm which, would immediately bring up my face blushing and then the Dali Lama would appear in my thoughts. This to me seems so wrong… so I begged him to do some thing. He asked if I knew who the woman was that sang the song Hello Dolly. I said “Carol Channing” and as soon as I said it he created another button on my back and he connect it the pattern.  So now, he could squeeze one arm and get me to blush, think about the Dali Lama and hear Carol Channing sing me hello dolly! Forever my memory of that initial fun and interesting experience was changed. 

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition #4: People already have all the resources they need

People already have access to rich internal resources and strategies, and therefore they can make whatever changes they want. Most change and development are simply a matter of effectively accessing those resources at the appropriate times and places. The problem, when there is one, is usually something that impedes access to these resources.

So think, tip of the tongue: You know, when you know something, you know you know something and yet you can’t form the words to present the information to another human being. This is an access problem. Think about the last time you misplaced your keys or something else. This is also an access problem. Now think of the time you wanted to make a smart remark at someone who pissed you off, and you couldn’t only to have the smart remark come to you hours later when it was useless. A George Costanza moment (for you Seinfeld fans…)… This is an access problem… but mild version of blanking on an entire test (like, I was used to having), or having a flashback so large and so vivid and not being able to access the common reality we seem to agree on… 

All behavior and experience has a positive intention… usually the negative stuff is to warn you of a potentially dangerous situation… just sometimes the pain is from the perspective of a 3-year old

People are always doing the best that they can…  just sometimes it causes us a great deal of re-hurt (or our brain to reviews a painful memory but we only feel the pain from the memory. The memories were practiced previously we don’t get the visuals, smells, tastes, and sounds.

People already have all the resources they need… they just have a bit of problem accessing those resources.

Our mental images, inner voices, sensations, and feelings are the basic building blocks of all our mental and physical resources. These were created in our lives from decisions we made that created our beliefs, values, attitudes and even life themes or they may just have affected our perceptions over time. We can use these resources to build up any thought, feeling, or skill we want, and then place them in our lives where we want or need them most. The problem with this is that the many decisions we made were made either unconsciously or at a very earl age and forgotten. And, this is what has shaped our current ability to access our resources.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition #3: People are always doing the best they can

Human beings work perfectly to produce the results they are getting. No one is broken. You are perfect and whole just as you are. There is nothing wrong with you… but that also means there is nothing wrong with anyone else, too. 

People are always making the best choice(s) available to them. Given our awareness of our choices, we are all doing the best we know how to do at every moment in time.  We make the best choice available given our unique resources, environment, conditioning, history, and other functions. Within it, we learned what to do and how to do it, what and how to want it, what to value and how to value it, what to learn and how to learn it. This is our experience. From our experience, we make all of our choices. When we have better choices available, to us, we use them.

The conditions we learned to survive (as infants and toddlers) becomes the experience upon which our continued survival depends. Which means, what we learned become a pattern of what we deem as safe. Our brains are always checking, are we safe? Are we safe? If not, it sets off alarm bells. The only problem is the alarm bells are usually bad feelings, disappointments, sadness, hurt feelings, etc. Our brains are checking if the current environment is safe against what it knows (ie: our current map of reality.).

Disappointment requires planning.

-Richard Bandler

So then, healing, growth and success are not a question of getting rid of or eliminating behaviors. Healing, growth and success are a matter of acquiring more behavioral choices. These behavioral choices provide more options for useful responses in all areas of our lives. 

One of the things I tell my clients is that not only that they are doing the best that they can that they know how but, so did their parents and the other people that took care of them at that young age. Those people that created that young experience, we now have embedded as our internal warning and safety system. We can allow that warning system to relax by offering an alternative such as a positive intention. Like: Your parents did the best they could, with the skills they had and that they knew how. By allowing your system a choice, we get to expand your behavioral flexibility and ultimately your experience of life.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition #2: All behaviour has a positive intension.

For the part of the person that is responsible for a particular behaviour, that behavior has a positive intention. Every hurtful, harmful, and even thoughtless behaviour has a positive purpose in its original situation.

In NLP, if we can find an alternative that is positive then we can change the resulting behaviour. So, if every time someone yells you cover your head as if someone will hit you, you are equating yelling with hitting. This is currently the only alternative available to you. But, if we can come up with an alternative meaning to yelling, say; someone expressing themselves because they feel like they are not being heard – then an subsequent yelling might mean hitting or it might mean expression of self. 

The more positive we make the alternative, our brains will most likely go to that alternative more often, than if the alternative is negative. So, in the practice of NLP we are always looking to hold the positive intention of the behaviour. This is the hardest task for a human being experiencing being hurt by a past memory over and over again. But, being able to hold there is a positive side as well as the negative side they are experiencing, allows them to move forward through the experience. Holding on to there is only a negative side, re-enforces the negative and keeps the pain intact. 

I find personally this is the presupposition I have the most issue with and bump up against it time and time again. Recently, I had someone cross a boundary with me. They performed a security check on me to find out who I was without having my permission to do so. When I asked them about their intent, they told me they did it for me and for them to feel more comfortable. And, they would find out about it anyway through me so it was ok that they got everything they wanted out on the table.

Now if I want to be able to have a positive relationship with this person, I would need to come up with a positive intention that I could hold about this person’s invasion of my privacy and his subsequent discount of my value of that privacy. If I don’t, I can choose to continue to hold the position that this person is never going to respect my boundaries and as such will never be my client, my friend and only a draining on my energy.

I personally hold, that a person gives you everything about them in the first couple of moments of meeting them – he invaded my privacy (something I honour highly) without my permission and told me that it was ok for him to do so. I know on a professional level for the most part, most people don’t change. Unless they are exposed to a major life event, but even so, many times this only lasts a week or so… permanent change is only created through NLP or a hugely painful event. In this instance, if I were to do work for this person, no matter what I would offer, it would not be enough. So for me, this isn’t a potential customer, or a potential friend, and just a suck of energy. If I want to continue doing what I do, I need my energy for the people I want in my life. Life is too short to be taken in by energy vampires even if you are in a helping profession.

So I would like to add the cavieaot, all behavior has a positive intention, what you choose to make meaning of and do with it, is your business… so the receiver gets to choose the meaning they get with the associated behaviour. As the receiver, you get to condone or not that behaviour in life – guilt-free. If a behaviour hurts you, you might want to figure out an alternate positive meaning for the original hurt (ie: the 1st time you experienced this hurt in your life), so it doesn’t hurt you any more when a similar experience comes up.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presupposition #1: The map is not the territory

A map is not the territory it represents, but if correct it has a similar structure to the territory, which accounts for it usefulness.

– A. Korzybski, Science and Sanity

We are map makers constructing representations or depictions of our experiences. The mental maps we create of the world are not true or reality – they are based on reality. As human beings we do not respond directly to the outside world but we do to our mental maps, representations or depictions. We make our maps and models by using our sensory representations–pictures, sounds, feelings, smells and tastes. The models that we create to guide us in the world are based on our conditioning and experience. Each of our models, or maps, of the world are unique. We experience our own personal reality, and then we respond to and deal with that reality accordingly.

A representation is not what it represents; one is a symbol for the other. This distinction may been insignificant on the surface. However, as we explore the process by which maps, models, and representations are built, it will become clear that the relations ship which exists between map and territory, when examine din detail, has an effect on the very structure of reality as we may know it.

 – A. Korzybski, Science and Sanity

No two people have exactly the same experiences. So our representations of the world determine which experiences and responses we will have. Some aspects of our maps may are out of our conscious awareness. Still, they determine how we will perceive the world and what choices we will have available-or not-as we interact with and within that world.

This is key. This what is available out of learning and being able to do NLP – having the ability to change your experience in any area of your life. If you are aware of your map of reality, you can change it and have exactly what you want.

To change our experience we must change our maps!

When interacting with others it is very important to remember that we operate from within our own maps of reality. Our personal maps form “bubbles of belief” around us. These bubbles filter our experience. They organize the meaning of our experience in relation to what we already know. Our bubbles of beliefs separate us from and connect us to the reality of others (Connect if our beliefs are similar, separate us if our beliefs are different.). Frequently, when we look out from inside our personal bubbles, we only see our own reflections. 

A model is a symbolic representation that depicts structure of our reality. Each of us builds models or representations of the world. And, it is through these models that we organize and communicate our personal experiences. The process of modeling allows us the ability to have an infinite variety of experiences. And if we are using a model for our personal realities then those realities can be interpreted, understood, and utilized. Modeling is way we transform the chaotic into the structured and make sense of our worlds.

A model is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong, but can be evaluated only as to its usefulness in making available specific outcomes. Models inherently provide both limitations and resources. 

– Kostere and Malatesta, Maps, Models and the Structure of Reality

The magic lies in the very structure and syntax of our words, pictures, sounds, sensations, smells, etc. Because our maps govern all our experiences, if we change the map, our experience changes. This means our personality, awareness, emotion and abilities to do a new skill come from our maps. These maps also drive our ability to influence, persuade and transform.

Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson did not work on the everyday life experiences of people. Instead they worked on changing these people’s internal models of the world. As a NLP practitioner this is the charge. This is why it is so difficult to quantify what can be accomplished through NLP because the change is so deeply personal. 

Our maps occur inside our mind-body systems. So to create influence, persuasion and transformation in others we must be able to change the receiver’s neuro-linguistic maps.

It is Korzybski that we can thank for his observations of our internalized maps realty. He analyzed how our nervous system interacts with our worlds at various different levels. He figured out our sense receptors are designed to leave out many characteristics and generalize about the information missing. He even showed how different levels of the brain made different kinds of mental maps about things.

But Gregory Bateson in 1972 asked if we create internalized maps, what gets mapped on these maps? He later answered the difference. So that our mental world is just maps of maps of maps for infinity… the map is not the territory because the territory never gets in to our minds because the process of representation will always filter out the territory.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Presuppositions of NLP

The thing about presuppositions is that they are not necessarily true. They are observations that Richard Bandler and John Grinder observed as the beliefs that were held by Virginia Sitir, Milton Erickson and Fritz Perls when they were achieving excellence in change with their clients.

We can use these when dealing with others and create great changes in ours and others experience by holding even one of these. However in NLP, if you want to have the best results, you want to hold all of them. I have many, so stay tuned and I will try to explain them all in detail and give some examples.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through


What is NLP? Definition #9

NLP is… the language of the heart and mind.

If you just apply three quick and simple NLP concepts, you will know how to use NLP to bring more positive and successful behaviors into your life.

1.) Make what you want in life into a positive statement. Most people I work with find it easier to start in the negative – so what don’t you want? or what’s not working as well as you would like? Take those items and switch them into what you consider your opposite. Most people associate the words “good” and “bad” as opposites… but I’ve had “bad” paired with “smart,” “loving,” etc. Use you’re opposites. Don’t worry about what others think… If you do, then you will miss out on the power of this exercise (concentrate on your heart and mind). Most people can’t get the positive out until they get out the negative or their complaint about how they don’t want things to be.

2.) To make what you want more vivid and attractive to you, figure out the details of the specifics of what you want. How will it feel to you when you have these things? When you accomplish these goals? Once you have that how can you make them more powerful? One of the things I do with my clients is I ask them to breath live into their desires. They tell me how it feels in their body when they achieved their goals – like is their breathing fast or slow? Is there tension in their muscles or not. If so, where? I have them tell me what are the conversations they hear around them and what are they telling them selves when they go there? Increase mental vividness of what you want to do in order to increase its attractiveness to you.

3.) Try these behaviors and feelings on. Use your imagination to explore these feeling that you came up with in #2. Mentally rehearse them, so they feel natural. The more you practice the more your brain will search for those feeling and experiences making your desires into your reality. Many years ago I was handed a story about a girl who grew up in a family who made a refrigerator list. What ever the family wanted they put on this list and every week they made what they wanted more specific. And, like magic what they wanted would show up. In NLP what you are doing is aligning your deletion, distortion and generalization filters around what you want. Once they are aligned there is no reason for you wants to go unfulfilled.

This step-by-step practical program approach to change is the hallmark of NLP. NLP is a how-to technology for personal transformation. The differences between traditional clinical psychology and NLP, is that psychology is mostly concerned with describing issues, putting those issues in categories, and figuring out the history of the cause of those issues. NLP is interested in how our thoughts, actions, and feeling work together right now to produce our experience now.

To do NLP, we need completely new principles of how the brain works in comparison to what is known. It doesn’t have to be the truth but it has to work. And, it has to be completely new for us. When we try and learn something new, there is a strong temptation for us to make it into something we already know. To be successful with NLP we need to be wiling to be indefinitely wrong.

To effectively study the patterns of human excellence and build the structure of this model of how our brain works, we need to hold certain beliefs or hold that certain facts are true. In practice of NLP the generalizations we believe for practice are called “presuppositions.” The presuppositions of NLP are observations that Richard Bandler and John Grinder and others made with respect to creating NLP. Just by holding even a couple of these belief systems in your life, they have a transformative ability…we hold them not because they have been proven but because when they are held in mind, they give us a much greater degree of freedom of choice and opportunities.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

What is NLP? Definition #8

NLP is… The study of human excellence. To me personally, it was and is the only way of releasing my own personal genius. I was so hurt by my parents’ lack of ability to make me feel safe and accepted that I hid from everyone else and worked in a career I hated, made choices that suited everyone else for their benefit, and not mine.

One of the things my NLP mentor says is “In a family of thieves the one that doesn’t steal feels guilt.” For me, this one that feels guilty and drawn back in to what they don’t want time after time, is me. I wanted so badly to go to school and just learn. And, my family made sure I knew there was something wrong with me. To me it was the key to making people happy about their lives and their work and who they are. To me this was worth all the school I had to do. For them, I was the family pariah.

I came across this NLP stuff by accident as I was starting my PhD in Humanistic Psych for the first time. What I didn’t know is that my family systems was the perfect teaching ground for hypnotic language, languaging patterns, and all the elements of NLP. I was already doing it. So when I learned NLP for real, I was a natural.

One of the aspects that often referred to as a “pillar of NLP” or “part of the nested frames of NLP” is something called “Rapport.” With rapport you make another person feel safe in their skin. My mentor calls it being “Gazelle-like” (think 2 gazelles meeting vs. a tiger and gazelle meeting). In creating rapport with someone, they are able to let down their guard with you. What I didn’t realize was, I was very good at this with people. The problem was I didn’t know how to turn it off. And so, what would happen is I would have people inappropriately come on to me, or freak out when I didn’t do something they expected.

Rapport is the first and essential step in every human interaction. Without this no NLP change process can work. There are levels of rapport. Someone we have deep rapport with feels amazing to be around. They feel like they understand us at a level that no one else does. Many great relationships were started because of great rapport. But being in rapport with someone doesn’t mean they do actually understand you – that takes time.

Not being in rapport with someone will feel like you are on guard. Like you can’t say anything right. In my family it was dangerous to not know what another person expected from you and rapport was the only way for me to get that information. It was a survival tactic because the alternative was to be on the end of annihilating rage.

When you learn this in a family, you expect this out in the world. In fact you could line up a thousand healthy people and one borderline personality disorder(BPD) person and I could pick the BPD out with a blindfold. That is whom my mind would code as most safe. That was my reality before I learned and experienced NLP. After learning NLP, I sometimes slip, into doing more rapport than necessary because I like when feel safe being around me… but I get to choose now. And, that choice has changed my world dramatically. 

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

What is NLP? Definition#7

NLP is… A model of how we process info that comes information us from the world around us. NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It is rumoured that NLP got this name because Richard Bandler was stopped by a cop for some possible infraction and was asked what he was studying. The three books in his front seat were Neurobiology, Linguistics and Computer Programming. On the spot his brain came up with this name.

“Neuro” stands for the organs and pathways of the human nervous system. It is through the mental pathways of our five senses we create and process our experience: Visual Auditory, Kinaesthetic, Olfactory, Gustatory.

“Linguistic” indicates that neural systems processes are represented, ordered and sequenced into models an strategies through language and communications systems. It refers to our ability to use language and how specific words and phrases mirror our mental words. It also refers to the non-verbal communication systems of postures, gestures, and habits that reveal our thinking styles, beliefs and more. It is through these systems our neural representations are coded, ordered and given meaning. These include: pictures, sounds, feelings, smells, tastes, words.

“Programming” refers to the process of organizing components of a system (sensory representations in this case) to achieve specific outcomes. The word “programming” borrowed from computer science. It suggests that our thoughts, feelings and actions are simply habitual programs that can be changed by upgrading our software. This instruction set controls what content moves through which pathways, and in what order, to create our human experience. As humans, we use neuro-linguistic programs to create and maintain our experience. If we want a different experience of something, we have to load and use a different set of patterns (neuro-linguistic programs – that will create this desired experience.). How we code our experience is how we mentally represent our experience. Our personal programming consists of your internal processes and strategies (thinking patterns) that we use to make decisions, solve problems, learn, evaluate, and get results. NLP shows us how to reconcile our experiences and organize our internal programming so we can get the outcome we want.

Many philosophers and scientists have suggested that our worlds consist of our representations of reality. Up until the point of the development of NLP the only way to deal with this illusion of reality was to meditate for years until you are enlightened and you can dissolve the illusion. Which really doesn’t work for the rest of us. Richard Bandler thought ‘What is good dose it do to recognize the illusion if we can’t do anything about the illusion we don’t want?’ He noticed in a hypnosis class that could become selectively amnesiac, or change negative hallucination into positive ones or a person could anesthetize a part of their body. He also noticed that when someone did this, it resulted in changing their beliefs which, also changed their physiology too.

Bandler and Grinder were not only interested in how do people experience, but how people get better and how do they do it with excellence. Through all its varieties, the field of NLP is unique in having developed a set of perceptual frames and proven techniques for change. These can be used to understand, respect and transform how and who we are.. NLP provides a way to both quantitatively and qualitatively describe the nature of the unique reality of every individual. It makes the most useful, accurate and respectful means we have of addressing our true human and spiritual potential.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

What is NLP? Definition #6

NLP is… An operator’s manual for being human.

As with any significant technology there are several versions. NLP was the result of many people’s individual work and personal views combined together. 

The original founders of NLP were Richard Bandler and John Grinder. They organized the original information and built in their new insights. They started with the psychology work of Sigmond Freud and Pavlov’s Stimulus Response.

Richard and John then added to it the work of Fritz Perls (gestalt, perception, responsibility, choice, paradox, behavior, needs, values, congruence), Virgina Satir (Family systems, representational systems, matching, predicates, feedback) and Milton Erickson(reaching  the unconscious, metaphor, marking out the words, humor, puns, riddles, paradox). In the realm of Linguistics they took the work of Alfred Korsybski (Maps of Reality, we code our reality thus creating our reality, our coding has slip-page) and Noam Chomsky (Surface structure, deep structure, Impoverished and inadequate maps result from malfunctions in perceptions and thinking, presuppositions of thinking disclosed in language). They also used from computers and mathematics: chunking, ways of thinking and levels of abstraction. They looked and added in pieces that fit from Zen and other eastern religion philosophies, the work of Robert Assagioli, systems analysis,  theory, cybernetics and others.

 The original contributor and developer list includes: Judith DeLozier, Leslie Cameron-Bandler, Robert Dilts, David Gordon, Lynne Conwell, Michael LeBeau, Norma and Phil Barreta, Robert Hill, Genie Laborde, Jonathan Rice, Frank Pucelik, and Mary Myers.

It is no wonder that when you learn NLP that it is as different as the original developer that taught that person. 

And, it is that different. Some NLP was designed by some people who didn’t want to have feelings. There is some NLP that emphasizes language. There is NLP that was developed by people that thought people needed cookie cutter approaches for changing things. This is very procedural. In fact most of the NLP out there is of this language only, cookie-cutter variety.

NLP has changed a lot since it was first developed. The style of NLP I do has been altered dramatically from its original form. My personal mentor developed it for over 30 years from what he had learned from Lynn Conwell, Leslie Cameron-Bandler and Jonathan Rice(the first psychologist involved with NLP) before I learned it from them. I further developed what I learned and applied it for therapy use for trauma exposure which  I call “Therapeutic NLP.”

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

What is NLP? Definition #5

NLP is… An attitude of curiosity and respect for ourselves and for each other – for what we have been and who we are becoming.

Human lives are creative wholes. To be understood properly and changed respectfully, our lives need to be appreciated holistically. We need to understand and appreciate that no part of our life experience really exists separate from the wholeness of our life. We hold each person’s life and the full human experience with respect and appreciation.

By appreciating the present state we can help the person that is suffering to complete the experience.  Appreciation of the present state helps return an individual to a place of resourceful learning – to a place of curiosity and amazement. Too much understanding blocks full appreciation and allowing a person to move forward. Think about this way, when you are grilled for another person’s understanding does it help you move through the issue you were originally discussing with them?

Bringing your attention to fully appreciate and be aware of another includes consenting to or respecting the experience without seeking to add or subtract energy or attention or value.  Being fully appreciating and attentive with someone is always about their good not yours. Reality continues until it is fully experienced. Until we can approach ourselves and others with full appreciation and attention, we will invariably exclude part of ourselves, others and reality.

Unless we fully accept it and allow the appreciation, we will not be able to change our experience and we will continue to experience it. The same goes with the people around us. We can’t help others change unless we are fully appreciating without excluding anything either in them or ourselves. Fully accepting and appreciating another is like saying ‘OK’ to it is, how it is without using approval and providing your blessings. What happens is that the emptiness and nothingness in us cannot threaten each other. This creates safety and rapport and has a potential effect that could result in change.

When we are in pain we want others to disapprove of our pain. But, if we disapprove of our pain, we are withholding approval of our experience resulting us to continuously hold our pain. It is as if we held our pain long enough, it would stop. Again, reality continues until it is fully experienced.

Usually we are furious at our pain. We are looking for the reason or cause of our pain in the past to make it go away. We try to be in pain now so it won’t have happened in the past or we will try to have it in the future so the past is different. And it is almost impossible to fully appreciate and be aware of our experience when we are in pain. This is where the practice of NLP comes in with its techniques and tools. NLP teaches an attitude of curiosity and respect for ourselves and for each other – for what we have been and who we are becoming. And that allows others and ourselves to safely experience our experiences fully so that we may complete them and move forward.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through 

What is NLP? Definition #4

NLP is… A toolbox of techniques for expanding perceptions, changing behaviour, redefining capabilities, revising beliefs, updating identity, & extinguishing personal coherence & well being.

Gregory Bateson said that in processes of learning, change and communication, there were natural hierarchies of classification. He also said that it was the confusion of these logical levels that often creates problems. The reason for each level to exist was to organize the information on the level below it. So, if you would change something on one level it wouldn’t affect the upper levels, but would cause change in the lower levels in order to support the change at the higher level.

Robert Goldson devised a hierarchical list of logical levels of change. So the higher on the list, the harder to create the change. And, the higher the change on the list creates change and support for changes lower on the list. The list was as follows: (high) Identity, Belief, Capacity, Behavior, and Environment (low). John Grinder said this was illogical. However, in NLP we tend to use what works… and this logical levels of change, works.

Understanding the logical levels of change creates a context for thinking about NLP techniques.  It also provides a framework for gathering and organizing information, so we can identify to the best point to intervene in making change. As humans, we do not change in bits and pieces, but organically. Learning and change can take place at any level or levels.

Identity change deals with your sense of self  – your values, your purpose, who you are.

Belief change deals with what you believe is true about life: the ideas that determine your daily behavior. Beliefs can be values, permissions, necessities or limitations.

Capacity change deals with the sets of behaviors, skills and strategies we use to function in our daily life.

Behavior change deals with the specific actions we carry out regardless of our capacity.

Environment change deals with what we react to – our surroundings, the people and the events that make up our experience.

So you may have noticed that after attending a seminar or reading a self-help book the processes doesn’t work after a week. It is precisely because behaviour is a lower level of change. And, to change a behavior permanently one must also make the belief and capacity level changes. Belief and Identity level changes are difficult to create with out specificity. When an author is writing and book or a speaker is running a seminar, it is difficult for them to create enough specificity for your unique belief system to create that level of change. At the most they could make some capacity level change.

If we don’t change identity or belief, it can clash with a new capability. The system in those instances will throw it out due to cognitive dissonance. NLP starts with behavioural and capacity change to figure out what’s not working. It then goes to belief and identity to create the sustained change.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through 

What is NLP? Definiton #3

NLP is… The art of modeling the form & sequence of internal states, internal computations & external behavior so that any known ability maybe replicated and taught (mostly).

A model is a set of instructions, procedures or steps that allows people to understand how a given talent or ability or can be performed. Models are different that theories. Theories deal with the “why” and not the “how” of experience.

Think about this way: The theory of flight gives you the reason why or why not successful flight will occur. A model airplane either flies or doesn’t fly. Because NLP is a model, it may not always work in theory, but it usually works in practice. And, a model is not the truth, but provides usable information about the truth.

Richard Bandler (one of the guys that created this NLP stuff) defines himself as the world’s best human modeler of unconscious behaviour. His career has been aimed at developing behavioural technologies to help people solve problems and achieve goals. And, I think at its essence, this is really what NLP is about – helping people be, do and have what they want.

In my own practice I’ve seen people change in front of me when they realize what the want is in their grasp. What many people don’t realize is that if they want something and someone else has it, it is available to them through this modeling technology. And, if the model that is currently being used in not working it can be changed or re-modeled into something that works better for that individual.

The reason why someone might opt for this technology instead of counseling, coaching or psychotherapy is that imbedded in the structure of the practice of NLP is teaching the client’s brain how to do the work so that they don’t need to be reminded to be different – In essence teaching them how to fish rather than just giving them a fish.

The process of modeling behavior whether applied to individuals, groups or organizations requires representations of the present state, desired state and resources. That is, the internal and external smells/tastes/picture/sounds & feelings that go along with the present state, desired state and resources. 

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through 

What is NLP? Definition #2

NLP is… A coding and notational system for understanding and patterning subjective reality. In order to produce a model of behaviours or anything else one must have certain tools to code information.

What Grinder and Bandler set out to do in creating NLP was to find a simple way of coding behaviour.

The purpose of a model is to identify patterns in the interactions between human behaviour and their environment. This is done so a specific behaviour can be systematized within the desired context to achieve the desired result. The model makes it easy for any one learning the model to obtain the desired results efficiently, effectively and consistently.

Decision theory shows a model in this structure: environmental variables (that we assume are limitations) plus decision variables (possibilities) create outcomes or results. Specifically, models are made up of a structural element or building blocks and a syntax or a set of rules that describe how the building blocks are put together. So if we are to change the outcomes, we need to change the inputs. The possibilities are what resources/inputs we think we have. However, if we can change some of those limitations into possibilities, we can change the final output.

NLP is a model designed to increase the possible outcomes of behaviour. In this way it allows us to change the inputs to increase flexibility so the final output or behaviour is changed. To make these changes we need a notation that describes experience (or how and what people perceive, think, feel and behave).

In NLP we use 5 classes of sensory experience: seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, and tasting and we have both internal and external experiences of those. So it makes sense that we can use seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling& tasting as our coding system. We can also note if the experience is and internally generated experience or an externally generated experience. By being able to track those expressions of experience, we can change a single aspect, which will provide for a flexibility in perception and result in a completely different output. 

For example, if you picture smelly garbage and we remove the colour out of that garbage, is it smelly? Or if we move the picture of tomorrow’s deadline test further away from you, is the pressure as intense? Most like not. This is the beauty of the model of NLP as a coding system. We can take any experience and break it up into smaller manageable pieces then change an element/piece and produce change.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through 

What is NLP? Definition #1

Even though I already have a listing about what NLP and I probably defined a million times for people I still find that I am always asked what exactly is NLP? it seems to me that people even other people that are NLP practitioners do not have a clear understanding of NLP. I was wondering why this was until I started researching it and found that every practitioner that was published had a different working definition. So what I thought I would do here is explain each definition in the hopes that you really understand what NLP is and what is possible.

NLP definition#1: NLP is the study of the structure of human experience. What this implicates is that your personal experience has a structure to it. It also implies that the people that created NLP have some how categorized experience into manageable parts or models. If your experience sucks (technical term), NLP can help change that sucking experience.

So if you don’t have the money, the girl/guy, the relationship, friendship, the work, the career, the body etc. NLP can help change that. Because your life as you experience it has a structure, by knowing the structure, it can be altered. NLP can alter your perception so that you see the opportunities that seem to not be there, to figure out how to be that person that will attract that girl/guy and have your life moving forward.

If there is a person on earth that has what you want, NLP can teach you how to model that experience. Richard Bandler to this day talks about creating NLP as the art of modeling human excellence. 

It is because if the idea that there is a structure(something stagnant) to an experience that allows us the ability to make change. The structure shows up when you look at the repeating cycle of behaviors and results. You can see a cycle of pain that happens in situations across all spectrums. A person will experience the same pain in their childhood,adulthood,at work,relationships,in friendships with family until it is resolved.

The structure is the pattern. But we because of the way our brain’s work we don’t see the entire pattern. Many times most of the pattern is hidden to us. We only know that it feels bad over and over again. And, we may not know why. In TNLP(Therapeutic NLP) we use a bit of hypnotic languaging to relax a person to allow for access to this information.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

A personal experience of family:

I know I’ve been talking about family for a couple of weeks now on Twitter and you are probably wondering who am I to talk about troubled or painful family situations versus nurturing families. Most people who become therapists are searching for answers for their own life. They typically promote things that have worked for them. I am no different in this way. It has been years and years of therapy sessions of all different styles until I finally got relief from the style of NLP I learned myself.

The thing I find most interesting is the clientele you attract in a therapy practice, and actually everywhere in life, are mirrors of yourself. For a long time I’ve been struggling to try and figure out the connection between sexual abuse and verbal/emotional abuse because I came from a verbally/emotionally abusive family and I seem to attract many people that have experienced some type of sexual abuse or trauma. This week an article in my own newspaper caught my eye and all of a sudden the connection became very clear.

The full article link is here so you can read it for yourself:

It’s taken a while to be able to talk about my own experience of family. And, I still find it hard to talk about it publicly in this domain because to me it feels like I’m not justified in saying what I’m saying – like I’m complaining and no one will believe me anyway. However, my job as a NLP practitioner is to listen and have people that come to see me or work me really feel heard for who they are and want to be.

The quote from the article I want to discuss is the following:

“…as we have long known from work with abused children, being made to feel wrong when you are right – having your accurate reality denied – is a solid foundation upon which much trauma is built.

Is it any wonder that when betrayed spouses [individuals] finally find out they’ve been right all along they sometimes look like the crazy one? The simple fact is this: as survivors of interpersonal trauma, it’s perfectly natural for the betrayed person to respond with rage, tearfulness, or any other emotion when triggered by something as simple…”

A number of years ago I was living in San Francisco and my mother, an untreated Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer in Winnipeg, Canada begged me to come and visit her. Upon my arrival I was completely ignored. I was there for just the weekend. Any attempts to hold a conversation with my father resulted in him yelling and attacking followed by him cracking a joke at my expense highlighting my (according to him) stupidity. This particular attack was for being interested in a relatives work. That was the first and last time I spoke to him on this visit.

The rest of the weekend consisted of my mother socializing with anyone she could, in every situation, but me – the person that it was so important that I drop everything in my life to come for visit. I even endured a dinner at a restaurant where not one word was spoken to me and I could not eat a single item because I was allergic to the entire menu.

For my entire life my mother and my family had ignored me, my needs, my allergies and even that I was person separate from them. There are stories about when I was a baby and I cried, the dog would go crazy and bite my parents to do something. Unfortunately the dog was given away when I was 4.

It didn’t matter how much psychological work I did on myself to try and accept them, work with them, and rise above. I could have a conversation with my mother about how her behavior and neglect had a direct impact on me and within seconds she would turn around do it again as if we didn’t even have the conversation.

On this particular trip I held my temper, I just observed. I was just trying to be in the space. Trying to find some way. I arrived home only to receive a phone call from my mother about how happy this trip made her and how well it went. I just broke into a rage. I yelled so loud for so long (2 hours) people in my apartment thought someone was being killed. In my past I had lost it with other people, and then felt ashamed. In this experience, I felt great – Like, I had maybe gotten through. Then I got a phone call from an old family friend that I has been like a secondary mother to me. My mother apparently told her friend that I was crazy.

I know in my Twitter posts (therapeuticnlp) I talk about the possibility of creating healing families from troubled families. But I also know in the case of my own sometimes there are factors, like mental illness that prevent troubled families from ever being healed.

In the case of my mother she exhibits Borderline Personality Disorder behavior. For me, this means I would develop physical sickness to be around her and anyone that would support the dynamic she creates.

Recently there was an interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger on TV. Leslie Stall had asked him a question about his infidelity with his housekeeper and he responded that once he does something he doesn’t look back. In other words, he doesn’t think about his mistakes and he doesn’t learn from them. There are people in the world with no conscience, no guilt for their behavior, no moral compass, no remorse or shame. They are sociopathic in nature. My mother happens to be one too. Whatever trauma these people endured during their childhood was so terrible that their brain does not allow them to look back and learn from their mistakes. It has disastrous effects on the people in their family. And, the only solution I have found for those that suffer at the hands of these sociopaths it to cut off ties from these people.

In my own experience; I found I developed family around me as friends and cutting off my primary family allowed me to heal a great deal and allowed me to attract and marry into a nurturing family that is nurturing to me and understands what it means to provide it for me.

This choice was right for me and offered me a great deal healing as a result. You need to choose what is right for you. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Ever wonder how do we process information? How do we learn?

We learn by processing information in patterns of senses (pictures, sounds, feelings, smells, and taste). No matter what it is, our brain uses our sense as triggers to go back to that memory… the more times the brain reviews the memory the easier it is for you to instantly access the memory.

So when we review or repeat our learning we are imbedding more and more sensory information. The more we review something the more true to reality that piece of information gets. Because our brain is always comparing the information that comes in with what is already stored. The more times you review the information you are trying to learn, the more time the brain can correct or alter the memory. This is also the reason why there is an issue with eye-witness testimony. The information in our brain is always changing. And, the way we are questioned can change our memories very easily.

Most people don’t have a problem learning, they have a problem accessing the information they have already learned. Our unconscious brain processes 200,000,000 bits of information per second. It’s our conscious brain (the one that  judges and tells us we’re not able to remember and sometimes tells us off) that filters only 40,000 bits of information per second… This means, consciously we are make judgements on a fraction of the available information. This also brings to light creating your own destiny – so if your conscious brain says you can’t remember a fact, in reality this is why you can’t.

My secret when someone tells me they can’t do something is to ask them: “… and if you could remember (or action they say they can’t) then what would happen” or “how would you accomplish the task.” You would be surprised how many people can fill in the blank after they feel heard – pretty much everyone!

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Are you a bad speller? Want to know why and how to fix?

If you were like me, the teachers that were teaching me to spell told me to sound out the words. This is actually the wrong sense to use to start your spelling strategy.

Great spellers, read the information off their brain, so spelling is a visual act not a auditory act… At least in the beginning… Learning to spell is similar to learning to read. You need to know what shapes correspond to making the sounds of the word or words you are learning. To do this simply cut up the word into pieces but not along phonetic or syllable lines.

For example:  The word “octopus” could be broken up like this: oct-o-pus

I’m asking you to cut the word up so the breaks don’t make sense like so: o-ct-op-us

The reason I’m asking you to cut it up in such a way is that now when you look at the word you can focus more on the shapes of the letters, whereas before you are concentrating on a pattern your brain already knows or is familiar with.

So to create a spelling strategy in your brain:

  1. look at the letters and then look toward the ceiling to your left and imagine the shapes of the letters.
  2. then look toward you left ear and say the word,
  3. then look down to the left and slap you thigh.

You’ve done one round, of visualizing, creating a sound, and then a feeling. Now repeat it 5-6 more times. If you do this exercise for about 5 words your brain should start getting the hang of the pattern and start accessing spelling words this way… and you will be well on your way to becoming a better speller.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Part 2: Do you know your strongest sense? How do you use this information in sales?

When you are in sales, you are playing the numbers game. Everyone you meet could be a potential customer or know a potential customer. Based on your speech patterns, the more someone feels comfortable with you the more someone will want to tell others about you and your conversations or will want to buy from you.

To do that, you want to mirror them as much as much as possible. If you are mirroring someone, you want to mirror their gestures back to them, their body posture, their breathing and the exact words they use (i.e.: the word “success” is not the same as the word “successful”.). One of the things you can do is listen for in their words and actions in their preferred sense.

Their preferred sense shows up in the predicates they use… so words like: see, view, and look are visual predicates. Words like: tactile, texture, emote, are feeling predicates and words like:  sound, music, hear, advise, are auditory predicates…etc…

In your conversations with others they move their eyes as well as their face to process information. Unless they have a brain injury, the person is lying, or they were taught to never lose eye contact with a person while talking, a person that is primarily visual will look up, above the horizon maybe to the right or to the left many times through your conversation… but mostly their eye positioning when accessing information while speaking to you will look up towards the ceiling. When someone is looking at you over their glasses they are looking at the visual spectrum and trying to avoid receiving feelings from you.

If a person is primarily auditory, they will look side to side. I have friend who turns his whole head from side to side just to maintain eye contact with the person he’s talking to. An auditory person mainly looks shifty eyed. Their gaze when accessing information is along the horizon or their ear line and a little bit lower (like 15% grade)

A feeling dominant person will mostly gaze down well below the horizon or where their ears are. Their posture will follow their eyes. They could also look directly at you and shake their knee or fidget with their hands… that’s also a feeling person processing a feeling.

If a person is smell oriented you will see their nose scrunch and twist as they process information.

If a person is taste oriented you will see their mouth chew.

These are in addition to anything they might say.

The big issue is one orientation doesn’t hear the other orientation. You need to speak to them in their preferred sense (using predicates from their preferred sense or with no specific sense indicated by your predicates.) for your information to make sense to their brain… otherwise use predicates that don’t promote a preference… example: tell me about your “experience” rather than tell me what you “see“…

Any other questions related to this topic?

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

What do you want? Success? Money? Happiness?

(Please make sure to see and do therapeuticnlp twitter feeds for Steps 1-15)

Every NLP session I do starts out with the question “What do you want?” In fact the whole session is about what the client wants. We spend 2.5 to 5 hours (depending on the client) clarifying that question and creating change around the answer.

Over the past 2-3 days, I’ve asked you to look at one word. The word “success.” And, what it means to you.

Notice how it is not the same as the word “successful.” “Successful” has it’s own pictures sounds and feelings that are distinctly different. Trying to communicate to someone the difference between these 2 words is a lesson in futility and is why paraphrasing back what some else says doesn’t work. (STOP USING ACTIVE LISTENING as a process for communication – it doesn’t work! It just puts people on the defensive.) We have visceral experiences for words. Actually it’s the other way around. We have names for our visceral experiences. One person’s use of a label for their visceral experience doesn’t necessarily equate to another’s visceral experience where they use that same label.

Now back to the exercise…

So when you are clear about your goal, crystal clear about the visceral experience related to your “success”, you can have yourself experience it: You can do this by remembering a time when your life was like that – where you felt “success.” If you have never experienced it, you must have someone in your acquaintance you know who has experienced your “success.”

Once you can locate that experience, you want to imagine yourself experiencing that exact “success.” What is it like hear all those things, that people are saying to you while you are experiencing “success”? What is like to see and have the experience of “success” you previously described? How does your breathing change in this experience of “success” in comparison to your life currently? What is different? What is new? What are your emotions? How does your body feel? Is there tightness, or stiffness anywhere?  Are you light or heavy on your feet? How does the air feel different around you? What is easy for you now that was not previously?

Being able to get answers for these signals that your unconscious brain has processed the information we’ve given it so far. If you don’t get answers to theses immediately – like you have to search for the answer, you are experiencing something Gregory Bateson (an early NLP developer and contributor) would call an “ecological objection.” This means something in your system is not wanting you to make a change. If this happens go back and explore who might have and issue with you having this “success” in your life. If there is someone, would that affect your relationship with them? is there something you could do to make a difference for them, to say make them feel safe no matter how much you change? Then go back and imagine your clear visceral experience of “success” and repeat the instructions in the above paragraph.

This is the first step, in being able to have your “success.” The next step is setting your world up so you can have that. So, what do you now need or want to set that up? Let me know.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Do you know how to control the pictures in your mind?

So if you have any doubts about the pictures in your mind try really hard now to not think of white bears. You can’t help but see them… and your picture of white bears is very different than everyone else’s pictures of white bears… feel free to ask them to describe their pictures…

Richard Bandler and John Grinder (our NLP godfathers) discovered this. They discovered that these pictures are part of our individual maps of reality. They also noticed that we hold these pictures in space…so right now, close your eyes and put your hands out and try and grab that picture of the white bear you just created.

Where is your picture located? Most likely it will be located on the right side and above the horizon. That’s because your brain creates new images on the right and it makes pictures above the horizon.

If you feel anxious the picture is too close to you. So for an example use a picture of stinky garbage. If you move that picture up to your nose, you get anxious (and your nose will probably crinkle!)… try a picture of something you have to do, like an exam or a term paper, or a work assignment or even planning an event. Putting the picture of it up to your nose will make you more concerned and anxious about accomplishing the task. But, if you move the picture back a little farther than where the picture originated, you won’t feel as anxious.

Back to the smelly garbage. The smelly garbage on your nose will make nose crinkle. What your brain is doing, is smelling the garbage, even though the garbage is not really there…if you drain the color out of that garbage picture, your nose will stop crinkling and your brain will stop smelling the garbage that’s not there… you can use this with painful thoughts too.

Find the picture that you are making with the painful thought for example the person you dread having a conversation with and drain the color out of it.
Let me know how this works for you…

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Dissecting your fear… what if it could be this simple?

What is fear? Fear is an experience. And, as an NLP practitioner fear is the basis of most of the work I do.

Your fear creates the basis for everything you like and don’t like in your life. It was learned from your biological parents and the people that took care of you until you were about 3 years old… Most likely you don’t like the same things your mother or primary care giver didn’t like. This is because you developed this part of your brain 2 months before you were born to about when you turned 3. At this point your experience was shifted into your mother… almost like people say dogs can sense their owners feelings, as a child we sense our mother and/or primary caregiver’s feelings. After that, your brain just rehearsed and practiced that information as the other parts of your brain were developing until you turn around 21 years old.

Only if you had a subsequent traumatic event like death or disappearance of a parent  or some type of abuse before you turned 21 or other trauma later than 21 would you embed new changes in your like-don’t like system after the age of 3.

On the way to what we want, many times we are faced with new experiences that trigger those past memories from before we were 3. If we don’t like something our brain will trigger a painful feeling. The closer we get to some thing we don’t like the stronger the feelings our brain will trigger until we turn away to avoid the situation, or the threat is over. If we don’t remove ourself from the experience eventually our brain will trigger feelings of death.

If we are surprised by the threat like in suddenly seeing a spider or mouse, our brain might trigger us to stand on a chair or scream or even run away.

So one thing we can do, is go see a NLP practitioner to help us deal with our fear – be it getting on plane, spiders, heights, success, you name it.. and depending on the fear in about 15 minutes or so they can reduce the feelings associated with the fear. It takes a little bit longer to deal with the beliefs behind the fear and the bigger the fear, the more resolution you need.

But here is what you can do in the mean time… recognize your fear. Figure out where it came from and whose fear is it. Did it belong to your mother or father? Did you develop it? If so how? That may help you figure out your first memory of that fear. If you can get that, then in your mind, imagine putting your first memory of that fear into a black and white movie and see if you can watch it. If you can’t try moving the screen in your mind far, far away so the screen is very tiny.

Let me know how this worked for you…

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Have you or your child been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD?

I had trouble in school. It wasn’t that I wasn’t bright because I seemed to tutor people that got A’s. But, I couldn’t seem to get the grades no matter how hard I tried or what type of studying I did. I was diagnosed after university with ADD.

And, I was satisfied with that diagnosis until I learned NLP from Carl Buchheit in California. I was the class example of a “bad speller”… but Carl said I wasn’t a bad speller I just had a “bad auditory memory.”

When we unpacked the memory (This is something I frequently do with my clients: I unpack an old memory that is unconsciously triggers a response that keeps a person  from getting what they want in life.) we found that when ever I was stressed, in an exam or test situation, I heard my mother voice say I was stupid and then I would feel bad and not be able to go back to spelling the word or answering the question on a test.

Many times bad feelings take us off course… they get in the way of what we want and what we can and want to accomplish in our lives. NLP uses many different techniques to change the perspectives that created current results (those bad feelings) so that those memories and thoughts work better for us and allow us to achieve what we want in life.


Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

When you read, where do you position your book?

If you don’t like to read, maybe it’s not you but where you place your book that’s causing problems. If you look down towards your lap (particularly down and towards you right) your brain receives all this information including every painful thought and memory you’ve had. Because you are looking down into the area where the brain accesses emotion you are programming yourself to feel bad.

Many kids that couldn’t concentrate on reading or had trouble learning how to read had many painful memories and thoughts attack them as they were trying to concentrate on the words on the page.

So what’s the simple fix? Move the book to place where it is sitting in front of you rather than below you. Even consider investing in a bookstand for your table so you don’t have to hold your book. Make sure that the area you are reading in the book is at where you naturally see the horizon or at eye-ear level.

Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Have you ever had a brain injury? If so, do you have issues with your memory or learning etc?

I’ve had a number of clients that have come to me with a brain injury. They were deemed fit by their doctors, but when I asked them to do certain things for me in a session they weren’t able to do it because of the headache they had from what I asked them to do.

One person claimed he was terrible speller and seemed like he was a visual learner when speaking to him but and auditory learner when he was in front of me.

Another person had issues with scheduling anything beyond 24 hours and wasn’t learning from his previous mistakes. He also, said that although he himself was a NLP practitioner, none of the NLP he did ever worked on him. Again when I asked him to do certain things for me in a session he weren’t able to do it because of the headache he had from what I asked him to do.

So here’s the exercise: while keeping your head perfectly straight move your eyes in a circular pattern from looking at the ceiling to looking to your right, then down at the floor, then to your left and then to the ceiling again. Repeat this exercise in the other direction. If there is a space where your eyes go that has you get a headache, keep pushing your eyes in that direction until you don’t get a headache any more.

If you don’t work this area, you can loose access to very important and useful areas of your brain and not realize it.  If you don’t have any pain, you’re fine and the exercise was worth the exploration.


Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

Do you know your strongest sense?

The reason why most people don’t know their strongest sense is because we process information in patterns of smells, tastes, pictures, feelings and sounds. And, we don’t always use the same order for processing every thought we process. That means we switch or are shape shifters.

Approximately 80% of North Americans are visual oriented, with 15% making up sound oriented, and 5% are feeling oriented. Europeans are mostly smell, taste and feeling oriented. So what does that mean for you and me? It means that the likely hood of someone understanding what we mean by “pass the salt” is very slim and quite a miracle…

The best way to tell your strongest sense is to listen to the words you use in your conversations. You will find that in the words you use, your predicates will indicate your preferred senses… for example visual people say things like “Can you see what I mean?” but and auditory person would say something like “Can you hear what I’m saying?” If a person is dominantly auditory and you are speaking to them as a dominantly feeling example: “Can’t you feel how good it would be to have a clean room?” it will be as if you are speaking a completely other language to them.

In your communication, you will find you use 2 senses the most, but you will use one more than the other. This is your primary sense or the sense you go to first most often in processing information. This is also the sense you prefer receiving information in as well.


Tracy Joy is an NLP practitioner, author, and speaker in Vancouver, Canada. She is an international business expert in the area of human systems analysis and thinking change. If you have brain questions, send them Tracy and she’ll answer them on this blog. She can be reached through

PTSD: Are you suffering from a traumatic event?

PTSD Stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You hear a lot about it in the media these days due to the great number of people coming back from serving in war and having issues re-adjusting back into society. Never before these times have we had the communication systems we currently have so the problem is well known. But, the problem has existed for a very long time.

Many times when someone witnesses a very traumatic event, (like rape, mugging, a car or plane accident, death or serious injury, industrial accident or natural disaster, or other violent act) either exposing themselves to the harm or witnessing some else become hurt, it is difficult for them to move on or forward beyond the event. This is because of the way our brains are wired.

We all have an internal survival system that lets us know when our surroundings are not safe. On a much smaller scale this same survival/critter brain/flight, fight, freeze response system helps us determine if we like someone or not.

As humans we create our memories by combining our thoughts with our emotions. To recall a specific memory, we need to embed the original memory with as many sensory pieces (pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells) as we can then stimulate those sensory systems in the same way to recall the memory.

In individuals with PTSD the traumatic event is so intense it instantly floods the brain with many visual, auditory, feeling, smell and taste representations that the traumatic event is re-lived or remembered and triggered by just about every thing the individual does, feels, sees, hears and tastes in the present. Because the person is experiencing intense representations in experiencing common reality, they start to embed that common reality with what was remembered from the original event. Over time the associations become so great that the person starts to not be able to function normally in society. This is why it is said that the onset of PTSD starts about 3 months after the event.

We all have this internal survival system that is always checking in to see that our environment is safe. With a person suffering from PTSD their survival system is over working indicating to the sufferer that no place they go, no experience is safe even though the threat for their life and/or wellbeing or another’s life and well being does not exist.

Our survival systems start developing about two months before we were born and is considered fully developed by the time we turn three. The survival coding embedded in this system was based on what we coded was safe or not safe based on and influenced by our experience with our parental units during this time period. With this system fully developed, any traumatic event experienced after the development of this system would also be coded in this system. The trigger size (the feelings of danger we would feel) is based on the extent to which the event was coded as threatening to our wellbeing or our life and how often we used that trigger (think about how some people react to spiders – sometimes the reaction is not warranted based on the stimulus). Our survival system is supposed to act like a defense and warning system to preserve us and keep us from harm, but the intenseness of the original situation can cause us do act in strange ways unfamiliar to our logical brain…which then struggles for reasons, excuses, really lies as to why we acted or behaved as we did. When a PTSD sufferer is reacting to their environment, their critter brain/survival system is over working to try and keep them safe.

When it comes to treatment of PTSD the psychological community has fallen short in treating this condition. They are split between medication and some types of cognitive behavioural therapy. They don’t believe that either treatment are effective in curing the condition. Currently, some of my colleagues (the NLP community) are collecting funds to do research to create an exact NLP protocol to deal with PTSD because there are a tremendous amount of people suffering from it and they think that NLP is the best tool to combat, treat and resolve this condition.

Personally, I’ve had a lot of success with individuals that have had PTSD in a relatively short amount of time and have had them experience great strides between very few appointments to resolve (get full recovery) the issue. The Psychological community maintains the claim there is no cure. If you think you might be suffering from this condition or know someone who is, and are frustrated because the treatments out there are not working fast enough or at all, please contact me. I am willing to work over the phone, on Skype and if there are enough people in your area I will travel to you to work with you face-to-face. You can reach me at 415-404-6636 in the US and 778-788-6657 in Canada or

Tracy Joy

Certified therapeutic practitioner of NLP
Founder of NLP Vancouver

Identity Shift – a whole new way of pulling the rug out from under you

So there I was in the middle of San Francisco, in this area called the Tenderloin, only a year ago I was staying in a Hostel in the area and I was terrified. I was never terrified in this area before but now, 9am in the morning it was the most terrifying place on the planet for me. What made it worse was there no one even around to make me feel scared to be there… it was just an empty street on a sunny San Francisco Sunday morning.

A year before I was just starting to learn NLP and I had no idea what the work would entail of me or that I was going to even be a practitioner at all. I honestly thought at that point I would just go and find out what NLP was about and maybe I could collect it like the other trainings and assessments I had. I never expected to change the very core of who I am and who I know myself to be.

A year before I wasn’t scared, because I knew I could look a person in the eye and know what they were all about. I knew I could read their behavior, know what there were going to do before they were going to do it and I knew my gut would tell me to leave well in advance of me getting into any trouble. As the months unfolded I found out that what I had was an adaptation to being in a place where my brain thought I was continually unsafe. My brain was always in assessment of other people’s experience and actions. In NLP Marin/NLP Vancouver terms we call this being in the switch position. What I was unaware of was how much it affected my perceptions of life and my world around me.

So this how it works: When we are first born we are switched into our mother’s experience of the world since she is our source of survival. During this time our brains are developing our own survival systems. Our survival system develops until we’re about 2.5-3 yrs old. Once developed we start having memories of being individuals unattached from our families somewhere between 3-5yrs old.  If our mother wasn’t safe – like, she didn’t bond with us or reach for us during the first couple years of our life we remained shifted into her and learned how to shift into others to constantly assess our safety with others.

My own experience of this was, I used to tell people, I hated going to the mall because there was something about the energy in the mall that really tired me out. What my brain was doing was checking in with everyone one I passed (no wonder I was tired!) to make sure they would not attack me. I also had the same experience  with bars – I loved people (I’m a total extrovert!) but random unfocused energy, tires me out… so being in a class room meant that people were focused on one thing, which made it easy to be there. So my 5 degrees were easy, I felt safe in school and a class room because people were focused. Being in a relationship with someone was a huge task because I always needed to take care of them and their needs before my own – it was like I was beacon for their negative or positive energy. This went way further but I didn’t realize how deep it ran until I had the choice and flexibility.

The first exercise in which I was in the self position I nearly threw up. The best way to describe this is really good grounding. Similar to what is possible to reach in yoga -unfortunately I could never sit for yoga. And, I would say if you can’t sit for yoga, find a way where you can clear you mind and get grounded so you can start practicing this. If you’ve ever experienced being around a person that seems spiny or flighty they are most likely experiencing life in the switch position.

Over the months of NLP training I kept trying to move myself from one position to the other and be able to experience what others were feeling and what I was feeling. With a little success but still with major nausea. As we were getting prepared to write the Master’s Final Exam and I was attending any study session I could and have people over to practice on and be coached by and something switched… It was a week before the exam people started noticing something really different about me that they couldn’t put their finger on. People started asking my opinion, saying things like, “there is something about you” and all of the sudden I was an authority. The people I was working with on NLP determined I had to anchor (when you anchor in NLP it means we are taking a specific feeling and making it available in other circumstances) my ass to the chair so I (well, my energy) wouldn’t jump out – because they could feel my energy there and then it would disappear as I was programming. After anchoring my energy to every chair I sat in, a light turned on… all the sudden my skin felt different. I couldn’t hear other people’s feelings unless I was focused on hearing them… I was focusing on what I wanted and it was different… even an orgasm with my husband was my orgasm, not his for the first time. I was present in my life in a way I had never been present before… and I had a different concentration level and was willing to ask for things I needed rather than hide… Even now, I have people ask me how I know things, how I can have this much depth in my practice even though I’ve been practicing for such a short time ) about 3 years), how can I experience their feelings, how do I know their  gestures are them re-living some horrible experience… I say it’s an educated guess, it’s how I was trained to do this. It was Carl and Michelle’s doing…but really, I know it was the integration of the NLP material and my willingness to go there to be pushed to have an identity shift as apposed to a belief shift or a capacity shift or a behavior shift. This single shift created many belief, capacity and behavior shifts.

So now downtown San Francisco, Tenderloin, a place that didn’t scare me, didn’t even bother me at night now at 9:00am scares the sh-t out of me… Even if I’m on a bus or in the BART going through the area… and for once, I think that’s what I’m supposed to feel as a female going through a tough area of town.

All in all, I think the shift was worth while…

Tracy Joy,

Founder of NLP Vancouver

Confused? Unsure? It just might be where you are in your life!

I’m sitting here lost. I can’t make a decision. Every option doesn’t feel right. It may have felt right when I made my original choice but now I’m not so sure. I continuously question myself and my actions over and over again like someone that has been diagnosed with an obsessive compulsive disorder trying to figure out if my actions will in fact have the intended outcome I want… and even if they have in the short past, I’m suddenly unsure that they will in the future. The commitments I’ve made with respect to each decision now seem too much work to follow through on, too hard to handle by myself, too monumental, too much work to deal with for one person. And then there’s the paralyzing feeling where I can’t move forward or backwards that I’m stuck some where in the middle. I know in my heart of hearts I chose all of this, completely consciously went and moved knowing what I was getting myself into. I am 40 now. And, this is what it is like to be smack dab in the middle of a developmental window.

When I was just 38, Carl Buchheit (my friend and mentor) told me I was a bit early. I didn’t know what he was talking about. Back then it was still a theory I could relate to and identify with knowing what he was talking about, remembering what it was like to be in a developmental window before.

This time, I’m going through it and I’m prepared. I wasn’t when I was turning 30. I knew it was coming this time. I updated my system, my identity, my beliefs and knew what other changes needed to be made, I just didn’t know how they would occur. I knew the turmoil was coming… before it hit.

But now it’s full on and although I can see where I’m going, the path is still confusing. I know my career change as I’ve been working on it for some time. I know it is the right thing for me, and expression of who I am… I just never intended that my last accounting gig would stiff me for over $6000.00 in the process and the fact I would be taking a husband/partner into this as other things in my life were going and are currently flying in my face.

I knew and I know in my bones, I want to do this NLP stuff for the rest of my life. I know it is an expression of me… especially the form and function. The work I’ve done and the results I’ve personally experienced are nothing short of miraculous.  But, still in my mind I can’t make a decision worth my life. 90% of all the people I work with come to see me as a NLP practitioner to help update their foundational internal conversations so I can help them move through this time (their developmental window) that they are experiencing in their lives to get to where they want to get to.

I remember this feeling before very clearly. It happened right before I turned 30. I moved back to Winnipeg (the place I loathe and fought to leave) trying to be in a relationship with a man who was trying to be in a relationship with someone else. I remember being alone in hotel in MooseJaw Saskatuwan, one day’s drive out from Winnipeg in the middle of winter, while he told me over the phone that I was not going to be able to live with him. Only a week before I had sold all my furniture, gave up my Vancouver apartmernt, and my great new job. And, the only thing I knew was I expected at work on Monday morning in Winnipeg. I had no place to live, nothing, not even a bed and I was in a city I didn’t want to live in since I realized I could move -which was about the age of 10, and I wasn’t on speaking terms with my family.

In hindsight, I should have turned back, turned the car around and gone back to Vancouver, stayed with friends and begged for my job back. Hindsight is 20-20… but at the time, I couldn’t make a decision worth my life. I couldn’t even decide what cookie to buy in cookie isle. I was in a developmental window. This is what it is like to be inside of the storm. The only thing that helped me in that year and half of uncertainty was making a decision, choosing a path and then sticking to it.

My developmental windows seem to have things drastically blowing up around me including jobs and relationships and things that you would expect to be solid are all the sudden not like friends suddenly dying in their sleep. But the things that emerge, some of those things are so incredibly  surprising, things you never thought possible start to experience.

Despite not being able to make a choice – make one anyway… Soon enough you will know if that choice will work for you. And, if you need to choose again, because it wasn’t right, you can.  The act of making a choice, helps you move forward, it will keep you moving, so you don’t feel stagnant, and it will help you feel in control.

The choosing I’m talking about is it is like being in a relationship – everyday you re-choose that person. Like everyday you choose to brush your teeth. Keep choosing and it will help you move forward no matter how hard it is.

A bit on developmental windows: They occur every 10 years (ages, 20, 30, 40, 50,60,70,80, etc.). They start about 2 years before the decade mark and may complete 2 years after the decade mark. They may last longer for the 30 year mark and the 60 year mark or early for the 40 year mark due to something called “Saturn Returns” which occurs at the 35 and 62 year mark.

The question a person is mostly dealing with during these time periods is “who am I for the world?” and anything the individual chooses at the beginningof the decade will influence what is created during that decade.

Developmental windows should not be confused with the modes of internal orientation of time, perception of time or change cycle. These all influence our ability to deal with time. Developmental windows are specifically oriented with foundational work & up grading of one’s memories and information to adjust to the person’s changing needs. This is where NLP can be really helpful as it helps people update past habits to work with the person’s current reality and future desires and gives them a sense of release.

90% of all people I see in my office are going throug this change and wondering what they are going to be for the world or how they are going to continue to exist and get what they want. They are usually are experiencing a very big change/transformation in their life and they can feel life not making sense and know they want something different but usually have trouble expressing it.

If you feel you are in this place make an appointment with me and we’ll see if I can create some

Tracy Joy, is the Founder of NLP Vancouver and holds a private NLP practices in Vancouver and San Francisco. She can be reached by emailing her at or can be called 778-788-6657 (Vancouver) 415-404-6636 (San Francisco)

So I’m waiting for my Constellation session to start…

I’m sitting here waiting for 6:30 to roll around where I get to show some eager NLP learners some pretty cool tricks of the trade. Tonight and on the 13th (and was also held on the Nov.30th) we are doing, or I am holding Family Constellations.

My NLP training infused this other training that was created by Virginia Satir and further developed by Bert Hellinger and still further developed by Michelle Masters and Carl Buchheit of NLP Marin.

As a trainer/facilitator this is one of the most amazing thing I get to do because I get to give  a whole group at one time, peace and they get it every cell in their body, down to their toes. When I was a first attendee, I found constellations disorienting, the information wouldn’t just leave my head… it was weird – or so I thought because I didn’t understand how it works… and the one thing Bert Hellinger maintains – he doesn’t know how it works, it just does… and that’s my attitude – it just helps me clear the systematic complication that despite our human trying to get away, we just end up pulling us in time and time again.

I think this quote really state what constellations is about: :In a family of thieves, the one who does steal feels guilt.” The object is to resolve issues that may not have belonged to you, so you can have your life.

But aside from that, if you ever have been interested in energy work and wonder if information is truly transferred from one person to the other unconsciously – then this is some you might want to come and try it out one night with me at and come a experience the difference it could make in your life.

If not, please feel free to drop me a line and we can schedule a trial session over skype where I can introduce to some of this over a phone or internet cable…

…well times almost up and my people will be here soon… got to get ready.

Wishing you love and peace,


Founder of NLP Vancouver
Author of Client Attraction: How to listening to your clients can make your customers buy
Creator of the Below Conscious Behavioral Market Profile

Why people may not ask for the help they want or need to achieve a personal or professional goal?

Why people may not ask for the help they want or need to achieve a personal or professional goal?

During the period of 2 months before the child is born through to about 3 years old the human’s fight or flight response is being developed. Some times people call this the reptilian brain or critter brain. As our brains are developing at about the 2 to 6 months old stage (based on the Neo-Reichian Model of development) if a child is deprived of their needs (by say, the parent not reaching for the child) the child doesn’t reach back.

An example of this is a child learns not to cry because there is no response from the mother to that child’s crying. The fight or flight response learns not to need. Once that period of time has gone by, it is locked into the memory and the next stage of development occurs.
Our brains strive to make all processes automatic (like driving a car and recognizing we put a key into the car’s ignition, or walking into a room and recognizing we are in a room) and place these early memories in the subconscious where the conscious brain can’t readily access it. However anytime the human experiences a situation where the human has a need the memory comes up.

One could imagine that up until the point of adulthood a child might need many times. Each time the memory from the 2 to 7 month range comes up, it reinforces the feelings associated with not getting what it needs and the child stops the wanting behavior. The hurt is so great that feels as if the human is being threatened of death. Because this is happening subconsciously and the human is relating to its conscious environment the conscious reality gets wrapped in the previous memory and compounds the feels of hurt, updating the feeling of death. To the human when it experiences any threat to its very existence it will do anything to remove itself from the situation.

What’s stopping them?

Every time the human needs something, up flashes this compounded memory of being deprived. Because of the brain’s automatic processing the human doesn’t see the memory they just feel the bad feelings and remove themselves from the situation (flight).

What are the most common reasons they don’t ask?

Most people will come up with some conscious reason for why they didn’t ask to make sense of their response. It could be anything. They didn’t feel well, they got scared, they knew it wouldn’t work out, they are losers, they like life the way it is, etc. The real reason is their subconscious is reminding them of a very bad feeling that feels like they are dying. This is the human fight or flight response reacting.

Next, what are some practical strategies to overcome those obstacles?

Although if you are brave enough you can feel the fear and do it anyway – which is why there are so many of those self-help companies out there doing fire walks, bungee jumping, parachute jumping and the like. What this offers is a feeling of huge elation and relief after performing the task. But it doesn’t resolve the problem because behavior change is only one little piece of the puzzle and it is not sustainable.

If you find yourself not achieving a personal or professional goal try working with a NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) practitioner they are armed with many tools to make the brain’s fight or flight response be at ease and can help update that previous programming. Some of the tools can fix phobias, bad habits but most of all what they do is revise the meanings we humans make with those old memories to better suit new situations so the human can achieve what they want. What’s great about it is it usually takes 1-3 sessions to move through something entirely. They will ask questions around the question “what would you like?” and then access the memory associated with it through watching the way the human’s eyes move. Once the memory is accessed the practitioner will ask the client to find the meaning behind the memory and help the client alter it.

Tracy Slotin, MBA is a Certified Master Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner who offers “NLP Marin style” NLP sessions and training in Vancouver, Canada

The Roots of Marin Style NLP – Carl Buchheit, Course Master (reprint from 2008)

NLP Marin-style NLP has always been something that is difficult to characterize, especially when it comes to explaining how it is different. It has much in common with conventional NLP, yet it is tremendously not-like-that at the same time. So, from time to time I would like to share a little with you about where our forms of this wonderful work come from.

Their foundation is solidly in the amazing work of John Grinder and Richard Bandler in the 1970s. After all, even one of our Holographic NLP-level presuppositions is: “No matter how cosmic it gets, it’s still all pictures, sounds and feelings.” We never get too far away from this awareness, and when we do we return to it pretty quickly.

Although it is based in the NLP of the 1970s (what Robert Dilts calls “1st generation NLP), NLP Marin NLP is not about techniques and procedures for techniques. NLP Marin NLP is greatly filtered through my (Carl Bucheit’s) experience of Dr. Jonathan Rice. Jonathan was my main teacher. He was the only one of Richard and John’s early students to be a credentialed therapist and Ph.D. psychologist. Jonathan added 1970s NLP into the work he was already doing with his clients in his practice in Carmel, just down the road from Santa Cruz. He studied with and stayed around John and Richard not because of their great charm, but because he watched them get results with people that were beyond what he knew how to do. However, Jonathan did not throw away his training and experience as a psychologist.

“Jonathan-style NLP” is heavy on attention to hypnotic language, elegant use of the outcome frame, and close calibration of physiology—especially!!—physiology. Jonathan was determined to teach himself to use Richard and John’s remarkable discoveries about accessing cues to observe and understand the structure of his own clients’ experience. Jonathan never stopped refining and extending this part of the NLP model. For example, the “what stops you” question is something we owe in great part to Jonathan’s persistence and creativity. In the earliest day’s, “what stops you?” was asked for information about content (as in, “Just ask the question and write down what they say”), not for the representational physiology of unconscious safety patterning. “What are the pictures and sounds that are making the feelings?” is Jonathan’s question also. (He didn’t remember saying it, but he thought it was a great one when I brought it up, years later.)

“Jonathan-style NLP” is also something that is usually done seated, not standing, and it expects the practitioner to improvise and constantly adapt, so that no two sessions are identical, and the techniques, if they can be called that, are generally hidden in the flow of life-revising rapport. Moreover, the practitioner seeks to serve the client, not to impress him or her with the practitioner’s amazing personal power. This should all be instantly and hugely recognizable to our students.

I spent years switched with Jonathan. Anyone who knows Jon can sense this in me, any time I am teaching or working with clients. I am greatly indebted to him.

What Can NLP Do for you?

It’s been hard for me to start blogging because I’ve been working on writing a book pretty much since the inception of this site and company. Currently the book is in editing stages (about half way through) so I may still be willy-nilly on my blogging but will try and be more available than I have been for you in the future. So continue checking here for excerpts and topics of the book as the book goes towards publication.

Additionally, I am sorry about how fairly plain or infantile in nature my blog appearance is. I am unfamiliar with WordPress and I get that the more I use it the more I will understand how to modify it for my purposes. So stay tuned for changes in what this blog looks like as I learn to use it.

One of the things I do realize about blogs is the great forum and opportunity they are of having others such as yourself, take a personal trip through experience of the writer and allowing you to join them in their experience. So to that purpose, I will do my best at explaining and demonstrating the uses, and my own experiences of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) (Or “Neuro-Linguini Programming” as Carl sometimes calls it). I assume, that’s why you might be tuning into this blog.

I didn’t start out being pro-NLP and I honestly fell into it by accident. I’m the type of learner that can usually read something any be able to instantly apply it…but I found that there was something missing from the books that write about NLP to the actual application of the techniques. And, because my business has been for a long time has been about changing the way people think, I was suggested over and over again to look into NLP.

So my aim is that by use of this blog as a forum that you will be able to understand what is truly missing from the application of NLP information that is out there in the current advent of books and maybe from the forum of this blog through the use of multitude of media (again, as I learn how to incorporate it here) you can gain the essence of what information you need for your own NLP learning, self processing, etc.

But before I begin launching into how to use certain techniques to create a result you may want to what you can accomplish with this information…

This is one of the most frequently asked questions I seem to get as a practitioner. When someone asks me this my brain launches into: “What can’t you get from NLP?” because the results are so amazingly diversified and affect so many different areas at once. I’ve done the research for you and here’s a pretty comprehensive list of goals and issues NLP can resolve.

Physical health issues relating to:
• Immune System
• Pain Management
• Asthma
• Tension
• Stress
• Psychosomatic Illness
Emotion issues relating to:
• Grief & Loss
• Depression
• Feeling Stuck
• Anxiety
• Recurring Fears
• Panic & Phobias
• Anger Management
• Trauma Recovery
• Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD)
Relationship issues relating to:
• Marriage & Family
• Couples
• Childhood Memories & Patterns
• Childhood Abuse & Abandonment
• Divorce
• Spousal Abandonment
• Isolation
• Inability to Forgive
• Double-Binds
• Verbal Abuse
• Physical Abuse
• Peer Pressure
Career issues relating to:
• Unclear Direction
• Lack of Motivation
• Loss of Job Satisfaction
• Communication Difficulties
• Interview Nervousness
• Feeling Stuck
• Procrastination
• Project Completion
• Creative Blocks
Self issue relating to:
• Weak Self-Confidence
• Chronic Self Criticism
• Inner Conflicts
• Limiting Beliefs
• Learning Disabilities
• Indecision
• Poor Self Image
• Low Self Esteem
• Loneliness
• Shame
• Denial
• Shyness
• Guilt
Management of your:
• Emotions
• Attitude
• Expectation
• Physiology
• Consistency
• Choice
Conflict resolution for:
• Balancing Needs
• Getting to ‘Yes’
• Finding Common Ground
• Creating Alliances
• Honoring Core Values
• Taming the Inner Critic
• Unconscious Cooperation
Building communication skills for:
• Creating Rapport
• Connecting w/o Losing Oneself
• Effective Language Patterns
• Responding to Criticism
• Non-Verbal Communication
• Curiosity & Receptivity
• Sponsoring the Best in Others
• Training Skills
• Reframing
Goal creation:
• Structuring Effective Goals
• Making Irresistible Goals
• Putting Goals Into Action
• Tracking Progress
• Adjusting Course
• Tuning into Results
Empowering beliefs by:
• Creating Supportive Beliefs
• Modifying Outdated Beliefs
• Releasing Unhealthy Beliefs
• Desirability
• Possibility
• Capability
• Worthiness
Creating inner quiet by generating:
• Peaceful States
• Deep Relaxation
• Living in The Moment
• Allowing What Is, To Be
• Releasing Worries
• Letting Go
Creating focus and concentration for:
• Organizing Thoughts
• Filtering Distractions
• Selecting Attention
• Sharpening Focus
• Getting In “The Zone”
• Maintaining Focus & Direction
Building centering and resourcefulness for:
• Connecting to The Center
• Accessing Resources
• Getting Grounded
• Aligning Inner Levels
• Relaxed Alertness & Safety
• Coordinating Time & Action
• Connecting to Abundance
• Attracting Good Things & People
Building motivation for:
• Moving Toward Desires
• Moving Away From Pain
• Creating Propulsion Systems
• Making Motivation Purposeful
• Rediscovering Inspiration
• Removing Obstacles
• Getting Started
• Taking Care of Business
• Getting It Done
Producing authentic agreements by:
• Inviting Discussion
• Reaching Agreement
• Achieving Clarity
• Getting Closure
• Honoring Promises
• Handling Slips
• Keeping Clean, Clear and Current
Building creativity and inspiration by
• Preparing the Mind
• Opening Possibilities
• Keeping Faith in the Source
• Taming the Inner Critic
• Overcoming Lethargy
• Tuning Attention
• Allowing the Unexpected
Creating inner cooperation for goals and issue resolution by:
• Inviting the Whole Person
• Healthy Inner Dialogue
• Self Organizing Mind & Body
• Forging New Possibilities
• Trying On New Ways
• Putting Change Into Action
Becoming assertiveness and building self esteem by:
• Becoming Authentic
• Creating & Maintaining Safety
• Designing Effective Boundaries
• Showing Up
• Responding with Ease
•Appropriate Speaking
• Valuing Self
• Discovering Inner Support
• Self Sponsoring
• Authoring a Better Self
• Creating Core Self Confidence
Creating effective decision strategies through:
• Evaluating Options
• Organizing Complexity
• Aligning with Core Values
• Recognizing A Good Decision
• Setting Intention
• Getting the Timing Right
• Taking First Steps
• Solidifying Decisions
• Creating Determination
• Applying Persistence
• Undoing Mistakes
Creating goals that produce results:
o Achieving Performance Excellence
o Enjoying Mind, Body and Emotional Health
o Finding Peace With Memories
o Creating Wealth & Prosperity
o Enjoying Life
o Accomplishing More
o Feeling More Calm
o Feeling More Self-Confident
o Attracting the Right Kind of People
o Creating & Maintaining Good Relationships
o Relaxation and Confidence
o Sleeping Better
o Having Better Choices in life
o Making Better Decisions
o Being More in Control of Our Lives
o Making Use of Our Hidden Potential
o Being at Peace with Ourselves
o Knowing Who We Are

Tracy Slotin, MBA,
 Certified Master Practitioner of NLPMarin Style NLP