So there I was in the middle of San Francisco, in this area called the Tenderloin, only a year ago I was staying in a Hostel in the area and I was terrified. I was never terrified in this area before but now, 9am in the morning it was the most terrifying place on the planet for me. What made it worse was there no one even around to make me feel scared to be there… it was just an empty street on a sunny San Francisco Sunday morning.

A year before I was just starting to learn NLP and I had no idea what the work would entail of me or that I was going to even be a practitioner at all. I honestly thought at that point I would just go and find out what NLP was about and maybe I could collect it like the other trainings and assessments I had. I never expected to change the very core of who I am and who I know myself to be.

A year before I wasn’t scared, because I knew I could look a person in the eye and know what they were all about. I knew I could read their behavior, know what there were going to do before they were going to do it and I knew my gut would tell me to leave well in advance of me getting into any trouble. As the months unfolded I found out that what I had was an adaptation to being in a place where my brain thought I was continually unsafe. My brain was always in assessment of other people’s experience and actions. In NLP Marin/NLP Vancouver terms we call this being in the switch position. What I was unaware of was how much it affected my perceptions of life and my world around me.

So this how it works: When we are first born we are switched into our mother’s experience of the world since she is our source of survival. During this time our brains are developing our own survival systems. Our survival system develops until we’re about 2.5-3 yrs old. Once developed we start having memories of being individuals unattached from our families somewhere between 3-5yrs old.  If our mother wasn’t safe – like, she didn’t bond with us or reach for us during the first couple years of our life we remained shifted into her and learned how to shift into others to constantly assess our safety with others.

My own experience of this was, I used to tell people, I hated going to the mall because there was something about the energy in the mall that really tired me out. What my brain was doing was checking in with everyone one I passed (no wonder I was tired!) to make sure they would not attack me. I also had the same experience  with bars – I loved people (I’m a total extrovert!) but random unfocused energy, tires me out… so being in a class room meant that people were focused on one thing, which made it easy to be there. So my 5 degrees were easy, I felt safe in school and a class room because people were focused. Being in a relationship with someone was a huge task because I always needed to take care of them and their needs before my own – it was like I was beacon for their negative or positive energy. This went way further but I didn’t realize how deep it ran until I had the choice and flexibility.

The first exercise in which I was in the self position I nearly threw up. The best way to describe this is really good grounding. Similar to what is possible to reach in yoga -unfortunately I could never sit for yoga. And, I would say if you can’t sit for yoga, find a way where you can clear you mind and get grounded so you can start practicing this. If you’ve ever experienced being around a person that seems spiny or flighty they are most likely experiencing life in the switch position.

Over the months of NLP training I kept trying to move myself from one position to the other and be able to experience what others were feeling and what I was feeling. With a little success but still with major nausea. As we were getting prepared to write the Master’s Final Exam and I was attending any study session I could and have people over to practice on and be coached by and something switched… It was a week before the exam people started noticing something really different about me that they couldn’t put their finger on. People started asking my opinion, saying things like, “there is something about you” and all of the sudden I was an authority. The people I was working with on NLP determined I had to anchor (when you anchor in NLP it means we are taking a specific feeling and making it available in other circumstances) my ass to the chair so I (well, my energy) wouldn’t jump out – because they could feel my energy there and then it would disappear as I was programming. After anchoring my energy to every chair I sat in, a light turned on… all the sudden my skin felt different. I couldn’t hear other people’s feelings unless I was focused on hearing them… I was focusing on what I wanted and it was different… even an orgasm with my husband was my orgasm, not his for the first time. I was present in my life in a way I had never been present before… and I had a different concentration level and was willing to ask for things I needed rather than hide… Even now, I have people ask me how I know things, how I can have this much depth in my practice even though I’ve been practicing for such a short time ) about 3 years), how can I experience their feelings, how do I know their  gestures are them re-living some horrible experience… I say it’s an educated guess, it’s how I was trained to do this. It was Carl and Michelle’s doing…but really, I know it was the integration of the NLP material and my willingness to go there to be pushed to have an identity shift as apposed to a belief shift or a capacity shift or a behavior shift. This single shift created many belief, capacity and behavior shifts.

So now downtown San Francisco, Tenderloin, a place that didn’t scare me, didn’t even bother me at night now at 9:00am scares the sh-t out of me… Even if I’m on a bus or in the BART going through the area… and for once, I think that’s what I’m supposed to feel as a female going through a tough area of town.

All in all, I think the shift was worth while…

Tracy Joy,

Founder of NLP Vancouver

I’m sitting here lost. I can’t make a decision. Every option doesn’t feel right. It may have felt right when I made my original choice but now I’m not so sure. I continuously question myself and my actions over and over again like someone that has been diagnosed with an obsessive compulsive disorder trying to figure out if my actions will in fact have the intended outcome I want… and even if they have in the short past, I’m suddenly unsure that they will in the future. The commitments I’ve made with respect to each decision now seem too much work to follow through on, too hard to handle by myself, too monumental, too much work to deal with for one person. And then there’s the paralyzing feeling where I can’t move forward or backwards that I’m stuck some where in the middle. I know in my heart of hearts I chose all of this, completely consciously went and moved knowing what I was getting myself into. I am 40 now. And, this is what it is like to be smack dab in the middle of a developmental window.

When I was just 38, Carl Buchheit (my friend and mentor) told me I was a bit early. I didn’t know what he was talking about. Back then it was still a theory I could relate to and identify with knowing what he was talking about, remembering what it was like to be in a developmental window before.

This time, I’m going through it and I’m prepared. I wasn’t when I was turning 30. I knew it was coming this time. I updated my system, my identity, my beliefs and knew what other changes needed to be made, I just didn’t know how they would occur. I knew the turmoil was coming… before it hit.

But now it’s full on and although I can see where I’m going, the path is still confusing. I know my career change as I’ve been working on it for some time. I know it is the right thing for me, and expression of who I am… I just never intended that my last accounting gig would stiff me for over $6000.00 in the process and the fact I would be taking a husband/partner into this as other things in my life were going and are currently flying in my face.

I knew and I know in my bones, I want to do this NLP stuff for the rest of my life. I know it is an expression of me… especially the form and function. The work I’ve done and the results I’ve personally experienced are nothing short of miraculous.  But, still in my mind I can’t make a decision worth my life. 90% of all the people I work with come to see me as a NLP practitioner to help update their foundational internal conversations so I can help them move through this time (their developmental window) that they are experiencing in their lives to get to where they want to get to.

I remember this feeling before very clearly. It happened right before I turned 30. I moved back to Winnipeg (the place I loathe and fought to leave) trying to be in a relationship with a man who was trying to be in a relationship with someone else. I remember being alone in hotel in MooseJaw Saskatuwan, one day’s drive out from Winnipeg in the middle of winter, while he told me over the phone that I was not going to be able to live with him. Only a week before I had sold all my furniture, gave up my Vancouver apartmernt, and my great new job. And, the only thing I knew was I expected at work on Monday morning in Winnipeg. I had no place to live, nothing, not even a bed and I was in a city I didn’t want to live in since I realized I could move -which was about the age of 10, and I wasn’t on speaking terms with my family.

In hindsight, I should have turned back, turned the car around and gone back to Vancouver, stayed with friends and begged for my job back. Hindsight is 20-20… but at the time, I couldn’t make a decision worth my life. I couldn’t even decide what cookie to buy in cookie isle. I was in a developmental window. This is what it is like to be inside of the storm. The only thing that helped me in that year and half of uncertainty was making a decision, choosing a path and then sticking to it.

My developmental windows seem to have things drastically blowing up around me including jobs and relationships and things that you would expect to be solid are all the sudden not like friends suddenly dying in their sleep. But the things that emerge, some of those things are so incredibly  surprising, things you never thought possible start to experience.

Despite not being able to make a choice – make one anyway… Soon enough you will know if that choice will work for you. And, if you need to choose again, because it wasn’t right, you can.  The act of making a choice, helps you move forward, it will keep you moving, so you don’t feel stagnant, and it will help you feel in control.

The choosing I’m talking about is it is like being in a relationship – everyday you re-choose that person. Like everyday you choose to brush your teeth. Keep choosing and it will help you move forward no matter how hard it is.

A bit on developmental windows: They occur every 10 years (ages, 20, 30, 40, 50,60,70,80, etc.). They start about 2 years before the decade mark and may complete 2 years after the decade mark. They may last longer for the 30 year mark and the 60 year mark or early for the 40 year mark due to something called “Saturn Returns” which occurs at the 35 and 62 year mark.

The question a person is mostly dealing with during these time periods is “who am I for the world?” and anything the individual chooses at the beginningof the decade will influence what is created during that decade.

Developmental windows should not be confused with the modes of internal orientation of time, perception of time or change cycle. These all influence our ability to deal with time. Developmental windows are specifically oriented with foundational work & up grading of one’s memories and information to adjust to the person’s changing needs. This is where NLP can be really helpful as it helps people update past habits to work with the person’s current reality and future desires and gives them a sense of release.

90% of all people I see in my office are going throug this change and wondering what they are going to be for the world or how they are going to continue to exist and get what they want. They are usually are experiencing a very big change/transformation in their life and they can feel life not making sense and know they want something different but usually have trouble expressing it.

If you feel you are in this place make an appointment with me and we’ll see if I can create some

Tracy Joy, is the Founder of NLP Vancouver and holds a private NLP practices in Vancouver and San Francisco. She can be reached by emailing her at tracy@nlpvancouver.ca or can be called 778-788-6657 (Vancouver) 415-404-6636 (San Francisco)

I’m sitting here waiting for 6:30 to roll around where I get to show some eager NLP learners some pretty cool tricks of the trade. Tonight and on the 13th (and was also held on the Nov.30th) we are doing, or I am holding Family Constellations.

My NLP training infused this other training that was created by Virginia Satir and further developed by Bert Hellinger and still further developed by Michelle Masters and Carl Buchheit of NLP Marin.

As a trainer/facilitator this is one of the most amazing thing I get to do because I get to give  a whole group at one time, peace and they get it every cell in their body, down to their toes. When I was a first attendee, I found constellations disorienting, the information wouldn’t just leave my head… it was weird – or so I thought because I didn’t understand how it works… and the one thing Bert Hellinger maintains – he doesn’t know how it works, it just does… and that’s my attitude – it just helps me clear the systematic complication that despite our human trying to get away, we just end up pulling us in time and time again.

I think this quote really state what constellations is about: :In a family of thieves, the one who does steal feels guilt.” The object is to resolve issues that may not have belonged to you, so you can have your life.

But aside from that, if you ever have been interested in energy work and wonder if information is truly transferred from one person to the other unconsciously – then this is some you might want to come and try it out one night with me at www.meet-up.com/NLP-Vancouver and come a experience the difference it could make in your life.

If not, please feel free to drop me a line and we can schedule a trial session over skype where I can introduce to some of this over a phone or internet cable…

…well times almost up and my people will be here soon… got to get ready.

Wishing you love and peace,

Tracy

Founder of NLP Vancouver
Author of Client Attraction: How to listening to your clients can make your customers buy
Creator of the Below Conscious Behavioral Market Profile

NLP Marin-style NLP has always been something that is difficult to characterize, especially when it comes to explaining how it is different. It has much in common with conventional NLP, yet it is tremendously not-like-that at the same time. So, from time to time I would like to share a little with you about where our forms of this wonderful work come from.

Their foundation is solidly in the amazing work of John Grinder and Richard Bandler in the 1970s. After all, even one of our Holographic NLP-level presuppositions is: “No matter how cosmic it gets, it’s still all pictures, sounds and feelings.” We never get too far away from this awareness, and when we do we return to it pretty quickly.

Although it is based in the NLP of the 1970s (what Robert Dilts calls “1st generation NLP), NLP Marin NLP is not about techniques and procedures for techniques. NLP Marin NLP is greatly filtered through my (Carl Bucheit’s) experience of Dr. Jonathan Rice. Jonathan was my main teacher. He was the only one of Richard and John’s early students to be a credentialed therapist and Ph.D. psychologist. Jonathan added 1970s NLP into the work he was already doing with his clients in his practice in Carmel, just down the road from Santa Cruz. He studied with and stayed around John and Richard not because of their great charm, but because he watched them get results with people that were beyond what he knew how to do. However, Jonathan did not throw away his training and experience as a psychologist.

“Jonathan-style NLP” is heavy on attention to hypnotic language, elegant use of the outcome frame, and close calibration of physiology—especially!!—physiology. Jonathan was determined to teach himself to use Richard and John’s remarkable discoveries about accessing cues to observe and understand the structure of his own clients’ experience. Jonathan never stopped refining and extending this part of the NLP model. For example, the “what stops you” question is something we owe in great part to Jonathan’s persistence and creativity. In the earliest day’s, “what stops you?” was asked for information about content (as in, “Just ask the question and write down what they say”), not for the representational physiology of unconscious safety patterning. “What are the pictures and sounds that are making the feelings?” is Jonathan’s question also. (He didn’t remember saying it, but he thought it was a great one when I brought it up, years later.)

“Jonathan-style NLP” is also something that is usually done seated, not standing, and it expects the practitioner to improvise and constantly adapt, so that no two sessions are identical, and the techniques, if they can be called that, are generally hidden in the flow of life-revising rapport. Moreover, the practitioner seeks to serve the client, not to impress him or her with the practitioner’s amazing personal power. This should all be instantly and hugely recognizable to our students.

I spent years switched with Jonathan. Anyone who knows Jon can sense this in me, any time I am teaching or working with clients. I am greatly indebted to him.

It’s been hard for me to start blogging because I’ve been working on writing a book pretty much since the inception of this site and company. Currently the book is in editing stages (about half way through) so I may still be willy-nilly on my blogging but will try and be more available than I have been for you in the future. So continue checking here for excerpts and topics of the book as the book goes towards publication.

Additionally, I am sorry about how fairly plain or infantile in nature my blog appearance is. I am unfamiliar with WordPress and I get that the more I use it the more I will understand how to modify it for my purposes. So stay tuned for changes in what this blog looks like as I learn to use it.

One of the things I do realize about blogs is the great forum and opportunity they are of having others such as yourself, take a personal trip through experience of the writer and allowing you to join them in their experience. So to that purpose, I will do my best at explaining and demonstrating the uses, and my own experiences of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) (Or “Neuro-Linguini Programming” as Carl sometimes calls it). I assume, that’s why you might be tuning into this blog.

I didn’t start out being pro-NLP and I honestly fell into it by accident. I’m the type of learner that can usually read something any be able to instantly apply it…but I found that there was something missing from the books that write about NLP to the actual application of the techniques. And, because my business has been for a long time has been about changing the way people think, I was suggested over and over again to look into NLP.

So my aim is that by use of this blog as a forum that you will be able to understand what is truly missing from the application of NLP information that is out there in the current advent of books and maybe from the forum of this blog through the use of multitude of media (again, as I learn how to incorporate it here) you can gain the essence of what information you need for your own NLP learning, self processing, etc.

But before I begin launching into how to use certain techniques to create a result you may want to what you can accomplish with this information…

This is one of the most frequently asked questions I seem to get as a practitioner. When someone asks me this my brain launches into: “What can’t you get from NLP?” because the results are so amazingly diversified and affect so many different areas at once. I’ve done the research for you and here’s a pretty comprehensive list of goals and issues NLP can resolve.

Physical health issues relating to:
• Immune System
• Pain Management
• Asthma
• Tension
• Stress
• Psychosomatic Illness
Emotion issues relating to:
• Grief & Loss
• Depression
• Feeling Stuck
• Anxiety
• Recurring Fears
• Panic & Phobias
• Anger Management
• Trauma Recovery
• Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD)
Relationship issues relating to:
• Marriage & Family
• Couples
• Childhood Memories & Patterns
• Childhood Abuse & Abandonment
• Divorce
• Spousal Abandonment
• Isolation
• Inability to Forgive
• Double-Binds
• Verbal Abuse
• Physical Abuse
• Peer Pressure
Career issues relating to:
• Unclear Direction
• Lack of Motivation
• Loss of Job Satisfaction
• Communication Difficulties
• Interview Nervousness
• Feeling Stuck
• Procrastination
• Project Completion
• Creative Blocks
Self issue relating to:
• Weak Self-Confidence
• Chronic Self Criticism
• Inner Conflicts
• Limiting Beliefs
• Learning Disabilities
• Indecision
• Poor Self Image
• Low Self Esteem
• Loneliness
• Shame
• Denial
• Shyness
• Guilt
Management of your:
• Emotions
• Attitude
• Expectation
• Physiology
• Consistency
• Choice
Conflict resolution for:
• Balancing Needs
• Getting to ‘Yes’
• Finding Common Ground
• Creating Alliances
• Honoring Core Values
• Taming the Inner Critic
• Unconscious Cooperation
Building communication skills for:
• Creating Rapport
• Connecting w/o Losing Oneself
• Effective Language Patterns
• Responding to Criticism
• Non-Verbal Communication
• Curiosity & Receptivity
• Sponsoring the Best in Others
• Training Skills
• Reframing
Goal creation:
• Structuring Effective Goals
• Making Irresistible Goals
• Putting Goals Into Action
• Tracking Progress
• Adjusting Course
• Tuning into Results
Empowering beliefs by:
• Creating Supportive Beliefs
• Modifying Outdated Beliefs
• Releasing Unhealthy Beliefs
• Desirability
• Possibility
• Capability
• Worthiness
Creating inner quiet by generating:
• Peaceful States
• Deep Relaxation
• Living in The Moment
• Allowing What Is, To Be
• Releasing Worries
• Letting Go
Creating focus and concentration for:
• Organizing Thoughts
• Filtering Distractions
• Selecting Attention
• Sharpening Focus
• Getting In “The Zone”
• Maintaining Focus & Direction
Building centering and resourcefulness for:
• Connecting to The Center
• Accessing Resources
• Getting Grounded
• Aligning Inner Levels
• Relaxed Alertness & Safety
• Coordinating Time & Action
• Connecting to Abundance
• Attracting Good Things & People
Building motivation for:
• Moving Toward Desires
• Moving Away From Pain
• Creating Propulsion Systems
• Making Motivation Purposeful
• Rediscovering Inspiration
• Removing Obstacles
• Getting Started
• Taking Care of Business
• Getting It Done
Producing authentic agreements by:
• Inviting Discussion
• Reaching Agreement
• Achieving Clarity
• Getting Closure
• Honoring Promises
• Handling Slips
• Keeping Clean, Clear and Current
Building creativity and inspiration by
• Preparing the Mind
• Opening Possibilities
• Keeping Faith in the Source
• Taming the Inner Critic
• Overcoming Lethargy
• Tuning Attention
• Allowing the Unexpected
Creating inner cooperation for goals and issue resolution by:
• Inviting the Whole Person
• Healthy Inner Dialogue
• Self Organizing Mind & Body
• Forging New Possibilities
• Trying On New Ways
• Putting Change Into Action
Becoming assertiveness and building self esteem by:
• Becoming Authentic
• Creating & Maintaining Safety
• Designing Effective Boundaries
• Showing Up
• Responding with Ease
•Appropriate Speaking
• Valuing Self
• Discovering Inner Support
• Self Sponsoring
• Authoring a Better Self
• Creating Core Self Confidence
Creating effective decision strategies through:
• Evaluating Options
• Organizing Complexity
• Aligning with Core Values
• Recognizing A Good Decision
• Setting Intention
• Getting the Timing Right
• Taking First Steps
• Solidifying Decisions
• Creating Determination
• Applying Persistence
• Undoing Mistakes
Creating goals that produce results:
o Achieving Performance Excellence
o Enjoying Mind, Body and Emotional Health
o Finding Peace With Memories
o Creating Wealth & Prosperity
o Enjoying Life
o Accomplishing More
o Feeling More Calm
o Feeling More Self-Confident
o Attracting the Right Kind of People
o Creating & Maintaining Good Relationships
o Relaxation and Confidence
o Sleeping Better
o Having Better Choices in life
o Making Better Decisions
o Being More in Control of Our Lives
o Making Use of Our Hidden Potential
o Being at Peace with Ourselves
o Knowing Who We Are

Tracy Slotin, MBA,
 Certified Master Practitioner of NLPMarin Style NLP